DSM-5

the gist of the twenty-years-in-the-making revision is this:

• kids no longer have tantrums. they have disruptive mood dysregulation disorders. if you ask me, someone had a hard day thinking up the alliteration. 
• hoarding has arrived. it has achieved exposure recognition its own tv reality program on hgtv and now has its own psychiatric label. i propose, for DSM-6 consideration: antique-ing, pawn-shopping and celebrity cook-off vicarious living.
• bereavement may well be labelled pathological if you grieve too much. the next logical step is to pathologize death, as the predisposing precipitating and perpetuating causes of grief.

the best thing about DSM-5 is that life is monoaxial again. this is good, because i never could get my head around the five axes to begin with.

journey reflection

he trains my hands for battle;

my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

- psalm 18:34

amazing enough that God allows me to do more than i think i can.

what amazes me more is that he prepares me for it.

not wizardry, but a lovingly carefully crafted fully customized plan in which i have the astounding privilege of participating.

aaah

a book and a cuppa.

weekend heaven.

meadow installation

for all that we are a regimented society

more concerned with daily toil than philosophy

we can at times occasion upon

such total whimsy

as puts a :D

on you

howdy!

it strikes me there are two kinds of strangers:

the ones who smile at you in return, in a communion of spirit with spirit as we briefly pass each other by; and those who avert their eyes in deep suspicion, wondering furiously at the motive behind your smile.

for information, i am on a one-woman crusade to smile proactively and randomly at people i meet. i find it makes my days unexpectedly cheerful, and it throws the morose ones off their balance a tiny bit. join me.

via dolorosa

how long must i wrestle with my thoughts

and day after day have sorrow in my heart?

psalm 13:2

in an undefinable incomprehensible way

these words can only be prayed from the depths of my own sorrows.

thank God for Christ's grief.

sabbath

sunday morning and i think to myself, life is good. not perfect, mind you. there are frustrating bits attached to everyone and everything and to home and to work. my body aches so does his and his head too and every blood investigation i dare not do is off the gaussian norm. fatigue keeps constant company and anxiety is sneakily low-grade endemic. conversations are often one exchange away from discord. on the other hand i find pockets of fellowship and laughter and morning walks in gorgeous weather. sometimes tender kindnesses can fill your heart to spilling. the secret is not looking to a perfect future, i tell someone. it is rejoicing in now.

there remains therefore a rest for the people of God.

- heb 4:9

painless ebm - dans et al (2008)

that nebulous thing called a paper is dissected into four digestible subtypes reconstructed in simple english with nary a reference to PhD-esque math terms and presented in 160 pages.

every discipline needs a sanity saver like this. 

not just a keeper, mind you, but a super-glue keeper.
♥ ♥ ♥

epiphany

almost five months into my new life and it hits me today that one concept about sums up this entire season: learning curve, steep. i don't know about the next person, but i have stuffed more into my 'ere 'ead in four months and a half than i did for a long time before, and i wasn't exactly slacking before. that krebs cycle season doesn't come anywhere near this.

i hope HOM understands that this phoenix* act can only be survived a limited number of times in one's life, and i have pretty much exhausted my quota.

*dedicated homemaker morphs effortlessly** into savvy professional woman.

**that, of course, is a publicity stunt type of declaration and a blatant lie.

mother's day

for the girl who has everything

from the men who know her so well -

new home buttons!

belum terubah

the malaysian general elections are freshly over. they were keenly watched hotly contested and deeply angst ridden. the final results were painfully disappointing to many.

shades of ge 2011, a jaded part of me whispers. in this part of the world, can the incumbent ever lose? does a leopard change its spots? 

the wiser part takes a longer view. every experience counts, it says. civic disagreement and civil discourse do not quickly sit at the same table. in time, perhaps they may.

i would like to see that.

krung thep 2

what's new after a decade:

• suvarnabhumi
• drinkable tap water
• fuchsia-hued taxicabs
• tentacle-standard skybridges 

what's unchanged:

• the traffic
• the shrines
• the mendicants

arabian nights

we visit with an old friend, HOM and i. we are different in culture background pursuits priorities and religion. we live in different places far apart and we have different problems in life. we all three of us love hand knotted rugs. somehow, HOM keeps his number through years and cellphone changes and smartphone upgrades. he recognizes HOM's voice on the first greeting.

my son is big now, he tells us proudly. he's in university. my daughter weighs on my heart, he says too. we  barely understand this friendship, but we are humbled by it.

thai food

unlike its fiery red tom yam cousin, tom yam nam jae is a bland pale yellow broth with some random herbs and your choice of meat swimming inside. the heat develops in stages, beginning with your first unsuspecting gulp and expanding in your mouth and your gut until you gasp into you lemonade and weep into your rice. 

we haven't been able to get this outside of thailand. it has been worth the ten year wait. 

krung thep

back in the land of smiles for the first time in ten years. the nice nostalgic vibes come back readily. we recognize old landmarks amidst the new landscape and among the unchanged throngs. the weather is as hot as i remember it. the smattering of thai i know comes stuttering back. lot dai mai? HOM says with great conviction to the vendors. the street smells are as gorgeous as ever. the underbelly is as sleazy. the traffic has not aged a single day.