having kids

when do we get to stop worrying about the children? HOM asks me. we don't ever, i guess, i tell him. is this not depressing?

...when i think that God, his son not sparing, sent him to die, i scarce can take it in; that on the cross, my burden gladly bearing, he bled and died to take away my sin.

and yet i would not begin to know what love God has for me, had i not been given son and daughter to watch over in love and worry.

vita mutatur

J1 says, this time last year was the best time, when you and dad were free to travel and J2 and i were free to spend time with you. will we ever have such times again, now that we are all growing up and apart?

life changes, i tell him. i wish i can say something wise and comforting.

then i remember that God replaces the years the locusts eat. there will be new and richer memories. non tollitur.

st. a de b

J2 shows us around the city and town that have been her home for the past four years. i've loved it, she says. there's a homeliness and community that i've not known before. there is a tinge of sadness as she prepares to say goodbye and make a new home elsewhere. 

i remember my own salad days when i said goodbye to five years of memories and friends and thought then that my heart would break. take your time, i tell her. keep the memories.

God will bring even better memories, but the old ones make us richer.

commencement 2

father and daughter. friendship and tension. camaraderie and argument. when they are good they are very, very good. the trouble with the two of you, i tell HOM, is that you are both too strong passionate opinionated able and capable. 

let her be. let her grow. when we were her age we could conquer the world too, and our parents couldna tell us any different. too. 

commencement

J2 graduates. she was just a little girl but she's all grown up now, J1 says wistfully. life changes, i tell him. but it's true. she was just my little girl, and she is eager cap'n of her ship now.

live your dreams then, baby girl! be brave and strong. be gentle and soft. grow common sense with ideas and ideals. find your place in the sun and make it a little better. i would be happy to call you friend, but i get to call you daughter, which is my great blessing.