Friday, December 25, 2020

my first online year, looking back at christmas time

shopping is mostly remote now. really one no longer knows what to do in a brick and mortar situation. do you only take cash? how quaint! as a result i do not get christmas carol fatigue. in fact the music has been fairly tastefully jazzy with only an occasional smattering of white christmas in poor acoustics. that said, someone ought to disable daiso's sound system at christmas time. 

church is remote and disembodied. i hope our church fathers know how pernicious this is to our hallowed beloveds of fellowship ministry and outreach. because if, as a multi-decade veteran i feel that going to church is a day trip, i wonder about other people. to be precise, it is an exhausting day trip to a shrine and back.

the crowds are back. as are covidiots. that is to say, the covidiots have always been there but there are more of them concentrated per square foot now. and all the nice piped-in jazz in the world cannot change the fact that the lady behind me in the line is a tad too close and telling her life story to everybody on her 'phone.

the trekkers have crawled out of the wood onto every path and byway in the land. as have the less ambitious walkers who suddenly have the time. as have middle-aged cyclists in lycra with their bro groups and smokes. as have the more pragmatic mom 'n' pop cyclists on their foldable bikes. and also, delightfully, a number of doggies.

being a less ambitious walker, my knees hurt. as does my back. on some days, so does my tummy. and occasionally i have to jump out of the way.

there have been blessings worth another post and more. but really i guess, plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

Thursday, December 24, 2020

agnus Dei

following on a year of online sermons disembodied congregants and sluggish fellowship i now come bemusedly to the end of an absent advent wondering wot 'appened to it all. i am reminded that beyond the hollow tinsel dusty baubles wilting wreaths and gawdy commercialism there is the same old reason. even if i feel divorced from it all this year.

by sun and candlelight

it's been a long year but we've had bread and pizza both.

Monday, December 21, 2020

a letter to my son and my new daughter

as you plan your life together.

remember, amidst the busyness and the many details, why you are together. the kindness of regard and gentleness of spirit the fun of kindredness the wryness of humor and the freshness of perspective. remember the sunlight and candlelight by which love has come, especially when hurry and urgency and impatience would have their way.

remember God has brought you together. there is no waste no loss no missed timing in his ways. he has made you your past and your present. if you allow, God will guide your next passage. remember how easy it is to unhear God's voice when the world's voice clamors so.

remember to tend your garden together. beyond the excitement and glamor and romance and plans lie much quiet mundaneness plodding drudgery routine days and unacknowledged resentment. your love must thrive in one as in the other. it will, if you faithfully tend it. 

realize that two are better than one. two can dream bigger dreams than one. two can accomplish more than one. two can spur each other to be better. two can support each other in weakness. may you be a strong team of two, by God's extravagant grace.

Monday, December 14, 2020

apple Quick Start

 without doubt my most painless phone upgrade ever.

time was when one reinstalled and rearranged and reconfigured every app on one's screen.
and time is now when one re-validates one's credit card and is good to go.

Monday, December 7, 2020

just you and me

 bigger dreams
huger risks
the burden shared
the spirit widened
joy upon joy
and just a li'l pain
two children
three dogs
and more besides

with thanksgiving
as we hit thirty

Tuesday, November 3, 2020

WFH-ing

  • we get a morning walk to replace the old drive to the office
  • sometimes we even get youtiao with soy milk after the walk!
  • E the dog gets company the whole day
  • an afternoon siesta is no longer always a story book concept

  • meetings start on time and more show up
  • although i suspect more are present-but-absent
  • and it is easy to exit a zoom meeting on time too! click the red button!
  • unfortunately the less-responsive people are even harder to get ahold of these days

  • some people are dressing at a whole new level of casual
  • and i've glimpsed more bedrooms than i'd have chosen to really
  • the face powder budget is diverted to the face mask budget
  • and my heels are kicking themselves in the closet
ALSO:
  • HOM's travel
  • the gasoline bill
  • the steps i have clocked!

Sunday, October 18, 2020

pandemic memories

  • masking up. i'm not sure i want to go back to not masking. i haven't had a cold this year yet, and we are ten months in
  • physical distancing is good too. the sardine can act was never very attractive
  • it's been a good excuse to bow out of social obligations. one is not complaining
  • working from home. and dual monitors (yippee catalina and sidecar!!).
  • endless walks. the trails never did see such traffic yet
  • safe entry <face palm> <eyeroll> #allalternativeexitsclosedoff <sigh>

luvverly

by the canal

 


 leaves falling 

 nip in the air

 wind in my face

 cast over the sky

 almost (almost) autumn


 i miss the leaden skies so much

halp



mixed metaphors garbled logic endless repetitions. and a loop of one word.

where do hapless members of the congregation go when worship songs hold them captive because, well, sunday morning? 

Saturday, July 11, 2020

cryptic comments for the morning after

1. it's a beautiful sky this morning
2. things are about same-same, but just a little different
3. in the final analysis, the leopard did not change its spots
4. there is a gap in succession planning that has become obvious
5. the number of community covid-19 cases is rising

___________________________________________________
footnotes:
it takes courage to choose change. i am encouraged that entire communities summoned the courage to dream and to act.

as previously mentioned, a clean campaign would be a beauty in the eyes of the beholder. that calls for maturity on the part of the people and the candidates.

Sunday, June 28, 2020

GE 2020: an appeal from the stands

we are electioneering again. are you following the action, a friend asks me. you bet! ah've been waitin' all of five years for this!

here is my wishlist for what i want to see from those running for office their back-office support plus all of us cheering from the sides:
  • chivalry 
  • kindness 
  • vigorous debate 
  • AND NO MUD
actually, if i could wish on, a single-vote-single-member system would be nice, instead of this GRC aberration. would you like to buy this sack of apples or would you prefer to choose them one by one, sir? there is no bulk discount, of course.

most of me - robyn michele levy (2011)

i think you will enjoy this. funny tender sweet sad lovely.

Saturday, May 2, 2020

Sunday, April 26, 2020

spent

coming off a rather difficult week at work with encounters of the draining kind with people who have fought a war with their fears and lost and now need to work out their dread on available service providers. after a few such encounters of which one can only sing chris tomlin's song rather helplessly and rather defeatedly. may i see christ in my neighbor, again.

Sunday, April 12, 2020

the thief's song

the dying thief rejoiced to see the fountain in his day
and there may i, though vile as he, wash all my sins away
the soul is flawed but the song is true

Friday, April 10, 2020

variations on the theme of mask

  • mask off to talk 
  • mask off to cough
  • mask off to clean nose
  • mask under the nose and covering the mouth
  • mask under the nose and mouth and covering the chin
  • mask hanging off one ear
  • mask in the bag
  • mask at home 

why do we call it good

surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.

the closest we have come to turmoil and discord and uncertainty and real fear for a long time.
the closest i have come to unvarnished human nature for some time too.
the impatience and self-centeredness and graspingness and inconsideration.
the clinging to the old ways the reluctance to try something new.
but also the kindness of strangers the creativity of those who have nothing to lose.
the cheerful comradeship of being in the same boat together.
the provision that we only realize at the end of yet another day.
the dawning wonder that it is because of His mercies that we are not destroyed.

though He was rich, yet for our sakes He became poor, that we through His poverty might become rich.
i guess that is good.

Tuesday, April 7, 2020

broken pieces

how lonely sits the city that was full of people!
how like a widow has she become, she who was great among the nations!
... she weeps bitterly in the night, with tears on her cheeks;... she has none to comfort her...

 how did we look so aside care so little ignore so willfully
the lost the homeless the migrant and the hungry

Sunday, April 5, 2020

palm sunday 2020

in a way i do not understand
palm sunday this year jogs me into thinking
what it must be like
to see calamity 
and pain
and fear
and sorrow
and rending of the soul
coming upon us 
and not being able to do anything about it
except 
to drink from the cup

my LORD has drunk from the cup
who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross
so help us endure

Sunday, March 22, 2020

culture and times

when the dust settles the definitive symbol of early 2020 will be the toilet paper roll.
mark my words.

Monday, March 16, 2020

the winds of change

will we see J and J and Y again?
when can we up and go at whim?
when will i see Paris again?

will we meet again like old times?
have dinner and a drink?
have a party?

will work go back to face-to-face?
and i go back to multi-tasking?
and teach again?

i miss the old norms.
how long will real life be suspended?
is this the new real life?

social distancing: random observations

into our third month of the outbreak, s.d. is pretty much absent in an asian but heavily westernized community, particularly in:
  • coffee shops, because the more tables we can squeeze the bigger the profits
  • lines, because if i stand farther out someone might cut himself in
  • the train, through no fault of anyone but the people who schedule to maximize passenger load
  • gatherings, because after all we are together to get together, right? right?
  • church! because the mark of faith is to show up even if one is coughing one's lungs out! and 
  • places of public gatherings, like the beach or the park, because it's just like the 'flu anyway
pretty much the only place social distancing is successfully implemented is at healthcare institutions, where one is socially distanced without much of an option. and even then it's only a partial victory.

mine's just a little cough; i'm not infectious!
in fact, that's why i didn't mention it earlier!
dear me, what a loud sneeze that was!

what i am starting to think is, we need draconian measures like an absolute lockdown. because appealing to our good sense and better natures really does not work.

Sunday, February 16, 2020

inattendu

how easy
to be the priest
or the levite
to make plausible honorable excuses -
time and task imperatives and obligations to meet
and people waiting for me
and all valid too!

how easy
to assume priorities are important
and someone else will do this
and quickly forget i saw it

how easy
to love my schedule
and my lunch hour
and my to-do list

so

teach me to not reject the unexpected
to be interruptible
to be flexible
when Christ comes to me as my neighbor
may i be a neighbor

covid 19: observations from the trenches 2

this is a good time for new civic habits:
  • we could stop spitting in public
  • eat with our mouths shut
  • avoid littering
  • and wear masks when we are unwell, unbidden and unembarrassed!
at the systems level:
  • we should be able to call in sick and avoid a trip to the doctor's for mild symptoms. surely we are old enough to do that five decades post-independence
in the longer run, when this storm has passed:
  • we'd better make medical-grade masks a disaster response item and guard it from profiteers. charge a fair fixed price at retail that is costly enough that we will not hoard it yet make it available enough that we will not make a run on it 
  • make doctor-hopping a profitless aberration and medical attendance by appointment the strict norm. the infectious disease controls gaps in the current free-for-all system have been a fright to behold

Tuesday, February 4, 2020

psalm 23

i shall not want food nor drink and also not direction nor courage nor strength nor wisdom for all that i must face, because i have a shepherd who herds me. when i fear i may not rise to the occasion my shepherd will ensure i do.

he supplies when valor would fail
he protects when dangers lurk
he repairs comforts succors refills
he guides my foolish wayward feet.

you show me the way through the morass and the traps
you carry me when i am too worn to walk.

my lot overflows with good things
and you promise me even more!

Sunday, February 2, 2020

shalom

holy, holy, holy! though the darkness hide Thee, though the eye of sinful man Thy glory may not see only Thou art holy; there is none beside Thee, perfect in pow’r, in love, and purity
- reginald heber

the words of the old hymn wash over my weariness and i am reminded that the final step in dealing with pain and disappointment and anxiety and questions is to look upon the God of glory.

Saturday, February 1, 2020

gradations

the butter in yakun's kaya butter toast
regular butter, salted, chilled
churned butter, salted, chilled
on sweet cinnamon bread

yums doesn't begin to say it properly

Wednesday, January 29, 2020

2019-nCoV: observations from the trenches

  • first of all, the iPhone face recognition fails in the face of a mask
  • eyeglasses and surgical masks do not co-exist comfortably
  • masks are anti-social. plus they kill lip-reading
  • in a situation of fear and panic you discover who is evidence-driven and who goes by his gut
  • the gut is more prevalent than the evidence
  • while some are driven by guidelines and directives
- to be continued, as the situation evolves

the museum of innocence - orhan pamuk (2008)

i chance upon this book in the playground and hunt it down in the library. 

it is un-put-down-able for the first half. pamuk has a style that effortlessly conjures up floating leaves fragile branches and autumnal smokiness. his descriptions of Kemal's distress furtiveness and hopelessness are merciless and compelling. 

but a doomed relationship can only throw up so many numbing details before it starts to drag, is what i say. at chapter 54 i give up and start reading backwards from the end. 

i must say the story ends quite elegantly, with its delicate musty atmosphere intact. although that could be because i am speed-reading by then.

i also say Kemal Bey must have had some OCD trait in him. 

Thursday, January 23, 2020

an afternoon at the library

  • i visit, seeing as the cellphone battery is running dangerously low and i'm not due to meet HOM yet
  • it's a modern place with lots of different levels for variety and plenty of computer terminals with flat screens and screens embedded in tabletops. i just wish they had more seats with backrests 
  • lots of middle-aged and elderly folk there
  • with a rather significant proportion of them catching forty winks, myself included
  • some people talk rather loudly on their cellphones. i wish they wouldn't. one really does not wish to know that that gentleman made his payment the other day already
  • in addition to my forty winks i catch one-and-a-quarter forgettable books. but that's ok. one's got to read a lot of nonsense to get a gem or two, is wot i say, mixed metaphors be damned

gibberish

this is your captain speaking. cue an incomprehensible conflation of swallowed consonants and flat vowels delivered without prosody. thank you for your attention.

why even bother?

Saturday, January 11, 2020

that time of the year

it's all aggressively cheerfully festive and if i hear gongxigongxigongxini one more time i am going to want to hit somebody on the head with it.

shall we have some seasonal decoration? HOM asks. gah.

Sunday, January 5, 2020

looking back, 2010-2019

J1 ends high school and begins military service
then J2 finishes high school too
G the Dog crosses the rainbow bridge
we repatriate
i painfully rebuild a career
we get E the new Dog
J1 and J2 graduate college
we meet Y
J2 is done with post-grad school
J1 moves to a second job
i co-write three books, to my (still) great bemusement
we pass the twenty-nine year mark together

i learn that God is bigger kinder and gentler than i knew

this is my song

this is my song, O God of all the nations, a song of peace for lands afar and mine;
this is my home, the country where my heart is; here are my hopes, my dreams, my holy shrine:
but other hearts in other lands are beating with hopes and dreams as true and high as mine.
- lloyd stone

what is truth? Pilate asks the Christ. 
grant that my truth may not blind me to yours.

Thursday, January 2, 2020

for the year that is to come 2

my quasi-resolutions, as part of the annual exercise:
  • be interruptible
  • be kind. or at least, be kind as my first response
  • be interruptible
  • be kind. judge slowly
  • gripe less readily
specifically,
  • have dinner with more friends
  • dust off the old DSLR
  • keep reading. it's been good going
  • listen to music more
  • facebook less
there! a restrained list and i hope a partially realistic one.

for the year that is to come

sola scriptura sola fide sola gratia

solus christus
soli deo gloria

portals to fantasy



bangkok all bedecked in commercial christmas finery.

budget travel

when the hotel does not provide bedroom slippers and the floor feels sticky.
what i say is, these look like bikini for the feet.