change of season

the carols are still blaring over the mall sound system. specifically, frosty is still having a ball of a time. but if you ask me, the times they are a changin'. and it's a wise storekeeper who maximizes his takings however he can.

signs of the times

the year's most successful gimmick, i say.

season's end 2

we miss:

the weather

the seasons

the colors

even the people

and the whole different mindset

but at least we can still have the turkey.

that was the last bird for the year.

season's end

that's it. christmas all packed up.

the year's up.

i must say that it feels like a lot has happened. 

the months are long even if the year is short.

david & goliath, m gladwell (2013)

better than blink or outliers, that's what i say. he has different points to make beyond the first couple chapters, although he tends to belabor them a bit and they tend to be semi-intuitive ideas actually, except he puts it all into a nicely readable package. and the section at the end, on limits of power, is truly interesting, and has much to say to modern politicians university teachers and gasping parents.

the list

what are your resolutions for the new year? S asks me. here they are, and remind me often:

• to de-clutter. aggressively and strategically and constantly, to about two-thirds of now.
• to write more. reflectively thoughtfully and vulnerably, because i meet so many who are beautiful.
• to live more simply. even if it means an attitude change more than anything more concrete, because my husband cherishes by giving.
• to give more. cheerfully courageously and generously.

i would like to glimpse more frequently the eternity God puts in the hearts of men.

2013

as thy days, so shall thy strength be.

- deut 33:25

it's been a long year learning again the old reflexes, and acquiring the ol' insiders' jargon, and earning anew the old legitimacy, as well as getting to be genuinely good at what i am paid to do. and i dare say, with God's extreme grace, that i have been able to do summat, although it sure has been painful.

it's been a long year waiting upon J and J's growth and maturation, and trusting upon divine love and provision which exceed mine, as well as hoping against broken hope. and i dare say God's mercies are new every morning, and he is generous with them, and he really answers prayer.

it's been a year of rediscovering my friend, of long walks and longer conversations, of argument and gentleness and hurt and kindnesses, of reaching our autumn. it's been short, this year, and i pray God makes it longer.

as my days, so my strength hath been. thank God.

$$

sold. the old iPhone.

dunno why it took us so long to figure out that an unused cellphone is unrealized cash.

season's greetings

he that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?

- rom 8:32

may you know that God is unimaginably rich in his gifts of grace and gentleness, to broken undeserving ungrateful entitled brats. may you meet this God in your moments of greatest pain, and may you come to know that he carries your deepest sorrows. may you have a time, today, to remember the author of the days. may you rest in his incomprehensible goodness.

staycation

HOM and i are finally on leave. we spend lazy mornings on meandering walks and lazy afternoons taking naps and more walks and we have no clear objectives about how our time should pass. it is all very aimless and quaint and something we don't get to do with the usual weekends of errands and tasks and meetings and preparations for sunday. it's like my dream vacation, we tell each other. we get to have laid back days with just each other, PLUS we get the pleasure of our own bed at the end of it. also, we get free wi-fi.

immanuel

immanuel, which means, God with us.

- matt 1:23

it feels surreal and strangled in commercial crass. the sidewalks are so busy the song has lost all charm. nicotine-rich carcinogen-laden burnt tobacco fumes fill the air. i try and i fail, to summon any fondness for the season. and yet, on reflection, my greatest comfort is in knowing that God dwells with me, and the fount of his compassions fails not. the difficulty is reconciling my comfort with the calendar date.

comfort

just as i am, without one plea, but that thy blood was shed for me 

and that thou bidst me come to thee, o Lamb of God, i come - i come!

- charlotte elliott

he does not tell me, others bruise too

but he comes for me in my helpless estate

he does not tell me, they struggle

but he gently tends my dimly burning flame

- isaiah 42:3

christmas fatigue

there's something unreal about this year. the commercialism has finally reached its logical conclusion, perhaps. frosty has his song playing on a loop and tinsel gets in your face and they even sell real live seasonal must-have trees these days. IN THE TROPICS. in the steaming heat. with artificial snow. today i heard o come let us adore him played like a dirge of background noise at the clinic.

i'm not doing christmas this year, i tell HOM. let's keep things simple. no tree. no gifts. maybe a turkey. but only if it goes on sale. because i do feel that this year we have successfully squeezed the last vestiges of meaning out of the celebration of the birth of Christ. 

thank God for the Incarnation. thank God for the incomprehensible exchange of his son's life for mine. thank God for the absolute security of knowing that nothing separates me from his love. thank God for the freedom and excitement of living in advent. 

but christmas is another story. fuhgedaboudit.

remembering

his compassions fail not. they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.

- lam. 3:23

our wedding hymn, 23 years ago now.

the most beautiful and comforting lesson has been to learn that we do not draw down on His supply of mercies, nor do we exhaust the stream of His favor. his compassions they fail not, and yet are renewed every morning. He keeps not a list on which the ticks are marked off. thanks be to God.

2013 in retrospect

the heart that has not hoped does not learn to be kind

the hope that has not strived against hope does not learn to be gentle

the gentleness that has not met mercy does not learn brokenness

the soul that is not broken is not made whole

except a corn of wheat fall into the earth and dies it abideth alone;

- john 12:24

it's been a long year of lessons.

golden anniversary

beyond the lights

behind the pain

into the gentle endurance

and the years.

there is something special about hitting fifty.

unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain.

psalm 127:1

mix 'n' match

spotted on facebook, that new office water fountain:

economics 101:

1. cheap 2. quick 3. good

pick any 2

nihil novi sub sole 2

so just when there is nothing new under the sun we actually have a riot* in good ol' sunny singapore. to clarify, not the mob madness to purchase hello kitty toys or the minions happy meals, but an ugly bottle-throwing trauma-inducing possibly alcohol-laced version that activates ER departments in the vicinity and beyond.

to the multiple analyses by keyboard experts and others (some of which are truly perceptive) and official ministry-approved statements (many of which are saccharinely assuring), here's what i want to add:

it's time we were kinder to each other. 

and it could start with me.

*in little india, and on my wedding anniversary too, no less.

two seasons

the celebration of Advent is possible only to those who are troubled in soul, who know themselves to be poor and imperfect, and who look forward to something greater to come. ... it is enough to wait in humble fear until the Holy One himself comes down to us... 

- bonhoeffer

in other news, of course, there are the lights and sales and busy sidewalks of christmases past present and future.