resurrected

nine months later the case is finally settled and the stop work order is lifted and we are looking to renewed efforts in the new week.

HOM and i are amazed humbled and grateful for the manifold mercies that lead to this. at the same time unfortunately the old stresses of hustling the various players also self-resurrect. 

but if God can lead us thru the one surely he can lead us thru the other. exodus 14:14, isaiah 43:2, psalm 31:15. all OT verses. there is a pattern here.

a walk in the park

we join the older adults' fellowship group for their quarterly walk this morning, HOM and i. the heavens declare the glory of God, someone shares. the skies proclaim the work of his hands. 

and it's true. in a way i mostly hardly notice and certainly do not pay enough attention to, there are lovely things to look at if only i bother to. 

in other news, those gorgeous heavy-laden almost-violet promising-rain clouds in the background never delivered.

of valleys and still waters

we have a straightforward old fashioned sermon today sticking entirely to the passage. this is surprisingly rare and much appreciated when presented. i thank the preacher and find a fan club around him. it appears there are a few of us who hanker for straightforward old fashioned sermons that stick to text although unfortunately the current fad favors a pop psychology message garnished with the bible verse of the week.

after church we spend some time catching up with old friends. the trouble with a semi-retired oft-traveling lifestyle is that one ends up hi-and-bye with many beloved people and soon we discover we have all grown older in the meantime. 

for example, D has developed dementia in the years we have not sat down for a good chat. P is active with her community work and at peace with her non-remission. E and S have just returned from the camino de santiago. if S can do it, bum hip and all, i think perhaps HOM and i can too.

with this past week i feel, to my dazed delight, that God is anointing my head with oil as he leads me beside the deep unknown waters of uncertainty. thanks be to God.  

thoughts on easter

how glad i am that 

i need not seek. i have been sought. i am found

i need not do penance. he has suffered. i am bought

because

if i needed to seek and suffer

i may not even not seek 

or suffer enough pain

how glad i am!

to little A, on the eve of your birthday

my special princess, who introduces me to the ineffable fascinations of being a grandmother! to whom i need be nothing more than present, nothing better than i am, bringing nothing more than what i have!

i wonder at your curious mind and your eagle eye. i am astonished at your unbelievable grasp of things i mention just once. i laugh with you at your sense of humor. how does a 2-year-old kiddo know to tease her grandfather just so? i am in awe of your determination in the park. when i follow you up the step-ladder i get a minor attack of altitude sickness. i love your generosity when you share the cashews with me your mom and even little E. i cringe when you grease the table and the chair feed your hair and the floor and smear your cheeks but miss the mouth. i worry when you notice that E is getting attention.

grow hard and grow well, A! be strong and able like your mom! be generous and open like your dad! be faithful and grounded, unafraid of life! may he who is able to do more than we ask for or imagine do all that, and more, in your life!

to little E, on the eve of your dedication

how much you have gone thru to get to this time, E! thru maternal stress and growth challenges to perinatal issues! and how much i have seen you grow to this time! you are like a little thriving magical elf, tiny self-assured and amazingly self-possessed-ly calm.

how glad i am to see you, E! you are planted in a garden of nurturing love filled with blooms of care and protectiveness and sheltering shade. you have a mother who is strong and able (and strong-willed!) and a dad who is all vigilant watchman (yet soft-hearted!) who loves your mother well enough to be a good father!

may God strengthen you in your inner (wo)man and form Christ in you and fill you with his fulness. may you know him richly, who is able to keep you from falling and present you on the last day before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy. may you live gladly and fully!

be thou my vision

prayer should not be perfunctory not carelessly reflex or easy and rote

worship is not a duty it is the only response to an awful awesome God

78 years old!

 

grateful for all the blessings extravagantly provided.

and, as HOM reminds me, supremely grateful that this is where we meet and get married and (for a time) bring up our children.

sunday thoughts from rev. 4

holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come!

worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.

how terribly awful is God on his throne

how impossibly perfect and unreachably holy

how amazing that i may approach Him

and say abba, father!

back to earth

there you go!

extended break over and done with. dried and dusted.

journey's mercies good company beloved children great food.

grateful and missing it all already.

blessings all mine.

year's end

and what a year for emotional and resource stretching it has been!

may we be strong and cheerful in the new year

and may we know peace and true joy in the storms

may we rest in God's unfailing provisions

and may we recognize his provisions!

shalom

the fulness of the year

dinner* with HOM J1 Y Ji J2 and A. my table groans and my cup overflows.

may we have many more. thanks be to God.

*sushi yolo, manhattan

psalm 23

you prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; 

you anoint my head with oil; my cup runs over.

surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life

grateful humbled glad

some reflections about getting older

the whole point about forgiving someone, i realize, is not to figure out if they deserve it or not but to remember that i do not but am freely forgiven anyway. it helps to also remember that forgiving is not forgetting and i need not heroically try to inflict amnesia upon myself.

if i don't watch out i will really become a crotchety old woman. the old bit is already there i just need to be crotchety.

it is amazing how many of my ruminations circle around the elders. when i become a venerated elder i really hope i do not need to be served up with a garnish of helpless forbearance.

reno woes 2

continuing the list:

6. we discover neighbor's pipes in our home (ikr, who designs things this way?)

7. neighbor's pipes (in our home) might be leaking. cue near-apoplexy on everyone's part

8. work stops because you need water to cut the walls, apparently (duh?)

9. smart wall switches are sized differently from regular switches (the wall cutter did not know this either)

10. and the dji robot vacuum narrowly avoids being barred from export due to them thinking we are processing a drone 

this is a good place to quote Ps. 94:17, slightly out of context: unless the LORD had given me help, i would soon have dwelt in the silence of death.

day's end

long day long week long months. the renovation drags on apace. HOM coughs on unabated. i cough along.

and yet God closes the day with gentleness and strength.

l'inattendu

a reminder that my day needs to make space for the unexpected unplanned unsought unforeseen and unscheduled, just as Someone makes space for unprepared and unworthy me. 

girls' brigade sunday

at the enrollment service and thinking heretical thoughts: are uniformed groups relevant in the me-first age? if relevant, are they effective? do well-meaning slogans and mottos belong to a bygone era or might they reach the youth of today yet? is it not time to rethink our institutions? when the adults cannot relate why do we expect the young to?

on the cusp

the workmen start hacking tomorrow!

things we discover as we prepare for our sixteenth move:

• young people* are savvy responsive down-to-earth and hungry. at least the ones it's been our good fortune to meet so far
• whatsapp groupchat discussions make communication and collaboration miles easier
• prices have soared since our last foray into the building industry. yikes
• the renovation budget can become a black hole of nothingness if you don't watch out
• China is the new source for well-priced high quality stuff. the days of cheap badly-made-in-China goods are over

*the builder the designers the flooring lady the aluminum guy the smarthome guys the fellow who sells us the appliances and the a/c man. and thankful we are to have been led to them too!

may God be pleased to build this house.

starting again

apprehensive about the new academic year and instructed otherwise today by the preacher.

in the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good. (eccl 11:6)

would that all prosper much in this next year!