plus size seatmate

very big 

with a big backpack 

oozing into my center seat 

the foot the elbow the arm and the jacket 

excuse me 

i am asian 

i really do not like 

to be in contact with a male 

who is not my husband 

please

goodbye massage

 

personalized to my sore points

with piped-in muzak

my little cocoon of 30-minute bliss 

bauble

my frivolous totally juvenile final purchase before we fly back tomorrow morning. 

girl's got to have her luggage tags.

lost

HOM leaves his phone in the ride. this leaves us with a cold feeling in the heart.

by God's grace and thanks to the driver's kindness he has it back again.

what i say is, you are not losing a phone you are losing a wallet.

what i also say is, that cold feeling in the heart, it can get quite cold.

brrrr

rainy day out. hotel room a/c fixated on 19 degrees C. nursing a cough.

the best place to camp out in the room is on the heated toilet seat.

GZ!

back in guangzhou! 

cosmopolitan noisy brash in turn sophisticated and rude the city of great food! and modern hotel i.d. with heated toilet seats!

very glad to be back for another quickie weekend before we decamp home.

thoughts about tour guides

necessary to a smooth queue-free research-minimum trip, yes.

nightmare versions this trip:

• the one who didn't get the memo about relaxed and stuffed the day with additional activities
• the one who chain smoked (gah gah gah)
• the one who spoke loudly and you could imagine the spit
• and the one who wouldn't stop talking
• the one who brought you to tea shops and horse riding stops and tried to get you to the tribal dinner 'n' dance
• and the one who asked personal questions in order to build rapport (horrors)

i tell people it is important to not pay money to suffer.

my favorite guide was the second driver. quiet gentle thoughtful and punctual.

goodbye yunnan!

we've had a week-and-a-half of sweeping soul-enhancing vistas mushrooms to overflowing and enough lectures about silver and tribal culture and tibetan buddhism to make us psuedo-experts.

i am ready for bland canto cuisine cleaner bathrooms and all round cosmopolitan amenities now.

next-level toilet

on the way to shangri-la we take a loo break at a heavy vehicle check-in stop. the complex is vast and the loos are right in the back and quite ammoniacal from before you get to them.

i approach the bank of doors and push one open to find a woman crouched over the loo and back away in embarrassment. she is however most kind and tells me, go down this way. you'll find plenty of loos without doors there!

i do love visiting china but i confess i am not intrepid at all. also, i need doors.

meituan ♡

here you go! our third takeout of the night, delivered twenty minutes after placing the order.

coffee and basque cheesecakes from auntea jenny, in case you were wondering.

what did we have earlier today?

chicken and veggie and egg.

and another coffee and basque cheesecakes. as you can tell, we love the basque.

potatso national park

unreservedly sweepingly beautiful with rolling meadows (complete with yak turds) mirror lakes and ranges of mountains beyond mountains. 

yet i find myself quite unable to warm up to the place. the architecture is too ethnic the cuisine is too hearty meaty and the culture is too foreign.

high altitude medicine

i am given many tips to deal with the elevation of shangri-la. take prophylactic whiffs from the oxygen canister! 2 whiffs before sleep! walk slowly! drink more water! do not on any account bathe on your first day!!

some advice is perhaps more evidence-driven than others although it is all intensely generously and unsolicitedly well-meaning. the writers of the yellow book would have apoplexy if they knew what stuff is floating out there.

in full disclosure, i take a cold-ish 3-minute shower. because.

leaping tiger

magnificent and all barely-restrained raw power and totally glad i made the trek thru the mass of humanity to partake of this sight. this trip has shown me more worldly wonders than i think i can internalize.

date nite, lijiang old city

we pop in before the crowd does and have the upstairs bar to ourselves and the lone guitarist singing his heart out.

after dinner on a rainy night a nice tenor and mando-canto-pop. good stuff.

photo opppppp

we visit yulong shan

 which is genuinely effortlessly gorgeous

and appears to be wedding photography central

of bangles 'n stuff

you'll know a woman is spoken for by the jade bangle she wears on her left wrist, the guide says. she will only take it off after in separation. i look at mine and smile at HOM. some of us will not take it off because the hand has grown coarser than the bangle!

goodbye dali!

• gorgeous views. 风花雪月is real. (although we catch only a fraction)
• great food. cos i tend towards vegge-heavy preferences so we match 
• plentiful jadeite silver indigo-cloth souvenirs but little of good quality
• bumpy roads. perhaps also poor vehicle suspension?
• awful (malodorous and unflushed) and sparse public loos
• solid internet connection and continued meituan access

dallying in dali (not)

i wish they would let me dally. dali is pretty and the flowers are a-plenty but the tour guide is most task-focused in getting us to cover as much ground as possible. da-ka has become the word of the day, i notice. nooooo, i want to protest. i don't need to mark my attendance and confirm i have been to any place! what i would like is to sit idly at a nice spot and shoot the breeze, itinerary be damned.

fortunately it is dry and hot today.

dallying in dali

we arrive 3 hours early due to judicious and serendipitous hustling. this next stop has been mercifully dry so far. am i glad to leave behind 3 days of incessant rain and constant damp!

really wet day

we take in the sights of teng chong. that is to say, the guide tries hard to help us appreciate the sights.

the sights are pretty enough but unfortunately much marred by the unceasing rain because no matter how you look at it i am just not a diehard tourist i am a city girl who needs my creature comforts and i like them dry.

if the rain continues tomorrow i might need to park meself in the van.

jingcheng dihai hot spring hotel

 

palatial set-up. breakfast delivered to the room. we lose our way looking for the elevators.

rainforest

we hike. what i say is, i am very grateful for gore-tex. although the waterfall is pretty too.

mangshi hotel (estab. 1956)

very much a grand dame in look and feel. complete with faded carpeting climb-in bathtub soap and shampoo in tiny bottles and heavy wooden furniture that gives me two new bruises within an hour. but also (much appreciated) firm mattress pillow options and bedside charging access. and, as i tell HOM, a to-die-for view from the comfort of my room. bonus: an osmanthus tree planted by zhou enlai.

of night markets, rain, and getting older

the gang plan a street food dinner at the night market. i am sorry to report that i decide to have dinner delivered to the room and catch the gradual glowing up of the pagoda.

comes a time a girl has got to say, it's the rainy season in the tropics, guys. gimme my creature comforts. meituan is wonderful. as is dinner.

my year off - robert mccrum (1998)

memoir of a 42-year-old man who suffers a stroke. the account is thoughtful philosophical and surprisingly upbeat. he writes quite beautifully, which restores my confidence in publishers and makes me want to specially read faber & faber books. 

the main beef i have with him is that he is sometimes medically inaccurate, although of course that gives an insight to his perspective. and he is a little medically quaint too, because he writes from a time when people had strokes and left the hospital with just aspirin.

the one thing i learn from him is how fatiguing it can be. 

red eye travel

bloodshot, more like. two sleepless flights and a car ride later we tumble out into a hotel one can only describe as quaint.

on the other hand, the sleeping facilities at kunming airport are wonderful, with a mattress for every budget. it's a near-camping-hostel-living-like experience but very clean.

also, as we descend into the dehong mangshi airport we have to lower the shades on account of security reasons so it all feels very hush hush and momentous.

off again!

always grateful for the opportunity and ever mindful of the privilege of jiving off again.

watch this space!

i've been waitin'

one icky sweaty muggy day and four cold showers later we finally sight the clouds.

actually, five cold showers later.

make that six.

doxology

40 years almost to the day from when we had the first sunday service at the current location. really? that sounds so long ago! i feel young yet. have 40 years passed?

the new building is where HOM and i meet and where we wed and bring up J1 and J2, at least for part of their fragmented childhood. it is the home to which we return from foreign assignments and, these days, from our travel adventures. it is where we are held to the most account, of all the churches and amongst all the small groups.

my heart and my soul swell as we sing, praise God from whom all blessings flow... praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost!

doctored - charles piller (2025)

 

heavy-going but interesting. a little bit disjointed and kinda messy. you get upset with the villains but unfortunately there is no satisfactory resolution. i guess that is the problem with accounts of history as it unfolds and the end is not written yet. it is a troubling but enlightening read.

my man the plumber

HOM changes the bathroom tap.

as in, tap leaks and mildew grows. (real) plumber quotes for new tap. HOM decides he can do better and besides it's not rocket science. HOM buys new tap and installs it. voilà!

one could start a second career soon.

unexpectedly pleasant encounter

lovely young man on the helpline trying to get me thru with my face verification function who says ah! in a most reassuringly knowing tone and then cheerfully walks me thru the steps to successfully set it up.

what i appreciate the most, i tell HOM, is that he is so clearly present with me in my agony and is so openly thinking aloud as we work through the steps that i gladly submit to his instructions and forget to don my usual crabby luddite persona for when i am flummoxed by tech. 

thank you sir!

poco vino

the shiraz comes in a dinky bottle and is surprisingly drinkable. it is nice to end the day this way with a great view to boot.

surprised by quality

pretty decent cheesecake and almost certainly the best cake i've had this side of the causeway yet. now to see whether the blood sugar shoots up to decide if it is as good as it tastes.

the arthur truluv books - elizabeth berg

of which there are 3: the story of arthur truluv (2017), night of miracles (2018), and the confession club (2019).

arthur truluv catches me and holds me tight in his gentle otherworldly kindly embrace and i enjoy his story and lucille's (and iris's and monica and tiny's). but the magic peters out after one-and-three-quarter books and i find myself reading from the final chapter forwards for the last book.

she writes better than debbie macomber but not as well as maeve binchy or marian keyes.

a walk in the park

we join the older adults' fellowship group for their quarterly walk this morning, HOM and i. the heavens declare the glory of God, someone shares. the skies proclaim the work of his hands. 

and it's true. in a way i mostly hardly notice and certainly do not pay enough attention to, there are lovely things to look at if only i bother to. 

in other news, those gorgeous heavy-laden almost-violet promising-rain clouds in the background never delivered.

big gah

when you remember to tell them to leave out the pickle but you let them put the onion in because you are thinking of the in-n-out grilled onions but then the carl's jr. burger comes with raw onions and now you cannot get the taste out of your mouth even after a rescue ice cream.

tonite's special

last nite's leftovers, is wot it is.

now let's not get all hoity-toity about serving leftovers. when you are tired of thinking and prepping there's an absolute magic to popping the containers into the oven and plating up the stuff when the time is ripe.

viva la food containers and their contents!

the day i ate whatever i wanted - elizabeth berg (2008)

found me a new writer i like, yes siree! chatty streams of consciousness flow mellifluously along home and friendship themes. not quite the incisive sophistication of james thurber whose essay on dogs i read just before i embark on this, but with a woozy floozy cozy cottage charm.

my favorites are the two letters from flo to her ex-neighbor ruthie. here the charm transcends cottage to enter minimalist modern territory.

moving on to her other books next.

sláinte

we have old friends over. HOM is right. when the old goes back to schooldays-old there is a different kind of carefree that hearkens back to more innocent less demanding times.

we chat into the night, us elderly folk, segueing between present day hard-won sharp sophistication and young giddy breezy memories. we talk about work our other schoolmates our children and partners and finally, our parents' dementia, which is when i say we need to say goodnite or the day will become tomorrow.

very short stories - sara hill (2011)

short stories for tik tok users, is wot i say. the stories are playful baubles of delightful irreverence hinting at darker themes and contain more hits than misses.

i pick this up because of the story on the cover. quickie read and deviously satisfying too.

tempus fugittttt

the month ends in five days and then we are in june and after that half the year is gone and we can start counting down to christmas and 2026 will no longer feel novel to write.

just thinkin' aloud.

the doctor who fooled the world - brian deer (2020)

fascinating narrative of how a scum-of-the-earth type got his come-uppance presented with an unexpectedly rambling chattiness (not my idea of brit understatement) liberally peppered with italics and personal asides and on a rather confusing timeline.

fascinating topic notwithstanding, one gets the sense that this is the blow-by-blow account of how he (deer) got the (totally deserving) guy.

i am more used to a cleaner style à la john carreyrou in bad blood, perhaps. on the other hand brian deer has a most impressive track record and i am in awe of what he has exposed in his time.

vintage vibes

i haven't heard di tanjong katong outside of the NDP in years. the egg tart is generously filled. the coffee is passable. this could become a habit.

just dessert

HOM and i toddle over to the neighborhood ice cream joint after dinner for pistachio gelato.

half the neighborhood has also taken to after-dinner ice cream.

of valleys and still waters

we have a straightforward old fashioned sermon today sticking entirely to the passage. this is surprisingly rare and much appreciated when presented. i thank the preacher and find a fan club around him. it appears there are a few of us who hanker for straightforward old fashioned sermons that stick to text although unfortunately the current fad favors a pop psychology message garnished with the bible verse of the week.

after church we spend some time catching up with old friends. the trouble with a semi-retired oft-traveling lifestyle is that one ends up hi-and-bye with many beloved people and soon we discover we have all grown older in the meantime. 

for example, D has developed dementia in the years we have not sat down for a good chat. P is active with her community work and at peace with her non-remission. E and S have just returned from the camino de santiago. if S can do it, bum hip and all, i think perhaps HOM and i can too.

with this past week i feel, to my dazed delight, that God is anointing my head with oil as he leads me beside the deep unknown waters of uncertainty. thanks be to God.  

good saturday morn

lovely overcast morning. the type where you just return under the sheets and nap.

my father's brain - sandeep jauhar (2023)

this is a painful read, especially towards the end of his father's life. he is honest about the indignity of advanced dementia the stress of caregiving and the distress of surrogate decision making. i am humbled as an aging person a daughter a care provider and a fellow human.

they need to make this required reading for somebodies.

he writes best when describing gritty unpleasantnesses, by the way. like the choked toilet. you want to retch along.

senior moment

time was when a pencil wuz a pencil.

now you have exam-grade pencils.

existential problem

what i say is, perhaps they have a vegetarian copywriter.

another sunday

all my life you have been faithful - all my life you have been faithful - with every breath that i am able - oh i will sing of the goodness of God. - Jenn Johnson (2019)

playing in the band today and thinking there are few more satisfying moments than when everyone plays their different parts and we all sound a voice together. the cello, of course, makes me want to take up a new instrument. or just weep.

excuses

hot day. mother's day. sunday. good day for the affogato. delizioso.

byronic moment

flow gently, sweet Afton among thy green braes

flow gently, i'll sing thee a song in thy praise

my Mary's asleep by thy murmuring stream

flow gently, sweet Afton, disturb not her dream

thou stock-dove, whose echo resounds thro' the glen

you wild whistling blackbirds in yon thorny den

thou green-crested lapwing, thy screaming forbear

i charge you disturb not my slumbering fair

i chance upon these words again and am wondrously swept into rolling green fields and braes and echoing glens and waiting to be picked up at my piano teacher's home. redintegration is real.

why Q needs U - danny bates (2025)

sweeping fascinating amazing breathtaking and all manner of other superlatives.

once in a while you find a non-fiction book about a topic people don't look twice at that holds you in thrall and teaches you gasp-worthy bits of stuff every chapter and this is one of them.

we like real words to have at least 3 letters. semivowels are consonants that sound like vowels. the great vowel shift is responsible for a lot of inconsistencies. americanisms are older than britishisms! (that's reverse snobbery for you)

totally worth reading even if you can't remember most of it eventually.

home grounds

back and what i find i miss the most is the auto-flush in the loos.

final excitement

sitting in the airport lounge and witnessing a grown tattooed man throw a tantrum at the wait staff over his repast and thinking that a tantrum sits poorly on a grown tattooed man. especially with a BMI in the region of 35 to 40. although to the wait staff's credit he is mollified and becalmed quickly enough. if you ask me he is a little bit of an ass.

GZ quickie

 

our quickie weekend in GZ is done and dusted. up and down the walking street and around to the cathedral and the river and serendipitously meeting a choir singing we are the world and lots of lovely grub including freshly pressed soy milk and much shopping.

it's back to the grind tomorrow.

last dinner before home

HOM finds this spot, resourceful fellow that he is. the name 情深翅海 does not even appear on english language searches. 

the buddha here is to die for. 

i tell HOM he needs to remember the next time we are in the 'hood and i say i want to go to that buddha place.

ravaged

HOM and i go up to the hotel reception and ask if our parcel has been delivered. the young man turns to his colleague and says, can you help these two old people with their request?

we look at each other in shock, my beloved and i. our hair may be gray, young man, and our faces may be lined but we'll have you know we are spring chickens inside!

1st road city park

we chance upon old fogies singin' and dancin' and upon youngsters livestreamin' in their cosplay finery. you would be forgiven for thinking this was a spot in some rabid capitalist society! except of course it is all very neat and clean and the public order is well preserved.

old friend

the usual drink of choice. although we have discovered cotti coffee as well.

massage chair

for a fraction of the sum HOM pays the human, i get pummeled cudgeled and pretty much bludgeoned over twenty minutes to a jelly-like consistency.

this is near-orgasmic, i tell HOM.

life in the fast lane (again)

today we try the dim sum place again at a much earlier hour. there are only 39 tables ahead of us this time!

brunch is delicious. alas, the glucose spike is fearsome.

here are the latte lava buns! scrumptious.