doctored - charles piller (2025)

 

heavy-going but interesting. a little bit disjointed and kinda messy. you get upset with the villains but unfortunately there is no satisfactory resolution. i guess that is the problem with accounts of history as it unfolds and the end is not written yet. it is a troubling but enlightening read.

my man the plumber

HOM changes the bathroom tap.

as in, tap leaks and mildew grows. (real) plumber quotes for new tap. HOM decides he can do better and besides it's not rocket science. HOM buys new tap and installs it. voilà!

one could start a second career soon.

unexpectedly pleasant encounter

lovely young man on the helpline trying to get me thru with my face verification function who says ah! in a most reassuringly knowing tone and then cheerfully walks me thru the steps to successfully set it up.

what i appreciate the most, i tell HOM, is that he is so clearly present with me in my agony and is so openly thinking aloud as we work through the steps that i gladly submit to his instructions and forget to don my usual crabby luddite persona for when i am flummoxed by tech. 

thank you sir!

poco vino

the shiraz comes in a dinky bottle and is surprisingly drinkable. it is nice to end the day this way with a great view to boot.

surprised by quality

pretty decent cheesecake and almost certainly the best cake i've had this side of the causeway yet. now to see whether the blood sugar shoots up to decide if it is as good as it tastes.

the arthur truluv books - elizabeth berg

of which there are 3: the story of arthur truluv (2017), night of miracles (2018), and the confession club (2019).

arthur truluv catches me and holds me tight in his gentle otherworldly kindly embrace and i enjoy his story and lucille's (and iris's and monica and tiny's). but the magic peters out after one-and-three-quarter books and i find myself reading from the final chapter forwards for the last book.

she writes better than debbie macomber but not as well as maeve binchy or marian keyes.

a walk in the park

we join the older adults' fellowship group for their quarterly walk this morning, HOM and i. the heavens declare the glory of God, someone shares. the skies proclaim the work of his hands. 

and it's true. in a way i mostly hardly notice and certainly do not pay enough attention to, there are lovely things to look at if only i bother to. 

in other news, those gorgeous heavy-laden almost-violet promising-rain clouds in the background never delivered.

big gah

when you remember to tell them to leave out the pickle but you let them put the onion in because you are thinking of the in-n-out grilled onions but then the carl's jr. burger comes with raw onions and now you cannot get the taste out of your mouth even after a rescue ice cream.

tonite's special

last nite's leftovers, is wot it is.

now let's not get all hoity-toity about serving leftovers. when you are tired of thinking and prepping there's an absolute magic to popping the containers into the oven and plating up the stuff when the time is ripe.

viva la food containers and their contents!

the day i ate whatever i wanted - elizabeth berg (2008)

found me a new writer i like, yes siree! chatty streams of consciousness flow mellifluously along home and friendship themes. not quite the incisive sophistication of james thurber whose essay on dogs i read just before i embark on this, but with a woozy floozy cozy cottage charm.

my favorites are the two letters from flo to her ex-neighbor ruthie. here the charm transcends cottage to enter minimalist modern territory.

moving on to her other books next.

sláinte

we have old friends over. HOM is right. when the old goes back to schooldays-old there is a different kind of carefree that hearkens back to more innocent less demanding times.

we chat into the night, us elderly folk, segueing between present day hard-won sharp sophistication and young giddy breezy memories. we talk about work our other schoolmates our children and partners and finally, our parents' dementia, which is when i say we need to say goodnite or the day will become tomorrow.

very short stories - sara hill (2011)

short stories for tik tok users, is wot i say. the stories are playful baubles of delightful irreverence hinting at darker themes and contain more hits than misses.

i pick this up because of the story on the cover. quickie read and deviously satisfying too.

tempus fugittttt

the month ends in five days and then we are in june and after that half the year is gone and we can start counting down to christmas and 2026 will no longer feel novel to write.

just thinkin' aloud.

the doctor who fooled the world - brian deer (2020)

fascinating narrative of how a scum-of-the-earth type got his come-uppance presented with an unexpectedly rambling chattiness (not my idea of brit understatement) liberally peppered with italics and personal asides and on a rather confusing timeline.

fascinating topic notwithstanding, one gets the sense that this is the blow-by-blow account of how he (deer) got the (totally deserving) guy.

i am more used to a cleaner style à la john carreyrou in bad blood, perhaps. on the other hand brian deer has a most impressive track record and i am in awe of what he has exposed in his time.

vintage vibes

i haven't heard di tanjong katong outside of the NDP in years. the egg tart is generously filled. the coffee is passable. this could become a habit.

just dessert

HOM and i toddle over to the neighborhood ice cream joint after dinner for pistachio gelato.

half the neighborhood has also taken to after-dinner ice cream.

of valleys and still waters

we have a straightforward old fashioned sermon today sticking entirely to the passage. this is surprisingly rare and much appreciated when presented. i thank the preacher and find a fan club around him. it appears there are a few of us who hanker for straightforward old fashioned sermons that stick to text although unfortunately the current fad favors a pop psychology message garnished with the bible verse of the week.

after church we spend some time catching up with old friends. the trouble with a semi-retired oft-traveling lifestyle is that one ends up hi-and-bye with many beloved people and soon we discover we have all grown older in the meantime. 

for example, D has developed dementia in the years we have not sat down for a good chat. P is active with her community work and at peace with her non-remission. E and S have just returned from the camino de santiago. if S can do it, bum hip and all, i think perhaps HOM and i can too.

with this past week i feel, to my dazed delight, that God is anointing my head with oil as he leads me beside the deep unknown waters of uncertainty. thanks be to God.  

good saturday morn

lovely overcast morning. the type where you just return under the sheets and nap.

my father's brain - sandeep jauhar (2023)

this is a painful read, especially towards the end of his father's life. he is honest about the indignity of advanced dementia the stress of caregiving and the distress of surrogate decision making. i am humbled as an aging person a daughter a care provider and a fellow human.

they need to make this required reading for somebodies.

he writes best when describing gritty unpleasantnesses, by the way. like the choked toilet. you want to retch along.

senior moment

time was when a pencil wuz a pencil.

now you have exam-grade pencils.

existential problem

what i say is, perhaps they have a vegetarian copywriter.

another sunday

all my life you have been faithful - all my life you have been faithful - with every breath that i am able - oh i will sing of the goodness of God. - Jenn Johnson (2019)

playing in the band today and thinking there are few more satisfying moments than when everyone plays their different parts and we all sound a voice together. the cello, of course, makes me want to take up a new instrument. or just weep.

excuses

hot day. mother's day. sunday. good day for the affogato. delizioso.

byronic moment

flow gently, sweet Afton among thy green braes

flow gently, i'll sing thee a song in thy praise

my Mary's asleep by thy murmuring stream

flow gently, sweet Afton, disturb not her dream

thou stock-dove, whose echo resounds thro' the glen

you wild whistling blackbirds in yon thorny den

thou green-crested lapwing, thy screaming forbear

i charge you disturb not my slumbering fair

i chance upon these words again and am wondrously swept into rolling green fields and braes and echoing glens and waiting to be picked up at my piano teacher's home. redintegration is real.

why Q needs U - danny bates (2025)

sweeping fascinating amazing breathtaking and all manner of other superlatives.

once in a while you find a non-fiction book about a topic people don't look twice at that holds you in thrall and teaches you gasp-worthy bits of stuff every chapter and this is one of them.

we like real words to have at least 3 letters. semivowels are consonants that sound like vowels. the great vowel shift is responsible for a lot of inconsistencies. americanisms are older than britishisms! (that's reverse snobbery for you)

totally worth reading even if you can't remember most of it eventually.

home grounds

back and what i find i miss the most is the auto-flush in the loos.

final excitement

sitting in the airport lounge and witnessing a grown tattooed man throw a tantrum at the wait staff over his repast and thinking that a tantrum sits poorly on a grown tattooed man. especially with a BMI in the region of 35 to 40. although to the wait staff's credit he is mollified and becalmed quickly enough. if you ask me he is a little bit of an ass.

GZ quickie

 

our quickie weekend in GZ is done and dusted. up and down the walking street and around to the cathedral and the river and serendipitously meeting a choir singing we are the world and lots of lovely grub including freshly pressed soy milk and much shopping.

it's back to the grind tomorrow.

last dinner before home

HOM finds this spot, resourceful fellow that he is. the name 情深翅海 does not even appear on english language searches. 

the buddha here is to die for. 

i tell HOM he needs to remember the next time we are in the 'hood and i say i want to go to that buddha place.

ravaged

HOM and i go up to the hotel reception and ask if our parcel has been delivered. the young man turns to his colleague and says, can you help these two old people with their request?

we look at each other in shock, my beloved and i. our hair may be gray, young man, and our faces may be lined but we'll have you know we are spring chickens inside!

1st road city park

we chance upon old fogies singin' and dancin' and upon youngsters livestreamin' in their cosplay finery. you would be forgiven for thinking this was a spot in some rabid capitalist society! except of course it is all very neat and clean and the public order is well preserved.

old friend

the usual drink of choice. although we have discovered cotti coffee as well.

massage chair

for a fraction of the sum HOM pays the human, i get pummeled cudgeled and pretty much bludgeoned over twenty minutes to a jelly-like consistency.

this is near-orgasmic, i tell HOM.

life in the fast lane (again)

today we try the dim sum place again at a much earlier hour. there are only 39 tables ahead of us this time!

brunch is delicious. alas, the glucose spike is fearsome.

here are the latte lava buns! scrumptious.

sunday

we slip into the cantonese language service. they sing all hail the power of jesus' name. and the gloria patri. the liturgy is familiar yet unfamiliar. the preaching is borderline anodyne but mainstream enough. we end with the apostles' creed and the lord's prayer.

it is particularly memorable because my pew-mate whispers to me that trousers are more comfortable in this weather than my dress. it leaves me wondering if this is a veiled hint that i ought not show my legs in church but HOM says she is just trying to be friendly. nevertheless i switch seats with HOM after that so as to put him between me and her.

life in the fast lane 2

we try to get a table at the dim sum place, HOM and i. the girl at the counter gives us our queue ticket. it says there are 104 tables waiting ahead of us.

we have lunch at the fish place.

1200 bookshop

the modern bookshop sells souvenirs t-shirts coffee and food. there are kitschy coasters featuring movies-from-the-year-you-were-born and kitschy notebooks featuring quotes by authors-born-on-your-birthday. 

yet the modern chinese reader is a far more eclectically widely-read animal than the average western-trained reader. perhaps because of the perceived restriction of chinese-ness their books are translated from all manner of languages and cover diverse topics. whereas our bookstores prominently feature rom-coms and self-help books in english and we are hard pressed to locate the translated stuff.

tea break

the makeshift stall just outside the hotel side door supplies ice cream at a buy-one-get-one deal.

best location ever.

life in the fast lane

may day on the pedestrian street in guangzhou is equivalent to shibuya. the crowds the tobacco smoke the crowds the cosplay and the crowds. on the other hand we start early enough that the morning is pleasantly festive and it only becomes a sardine can when we are ready for a nap.

a wedding in the country - katie ffordes (2021)

anodyne and saccharine.

happy ending.

anodyne and saccharine.

despite previous good experience with katie ffordes.

anatomy of a airplane flight

things happen on my solo flight to guangzhou:

• i flop gratefully into my aisle seat (yeah!)
• i stand up to allow my window seat mate in
• a bunch of travelers show their excitement at air travel most vocally
• my seat back is wrenched by a fellow passenger on the way to her own seat
• a random baby starts a yodel. it starts low and reaches high
• somebody's suitcase drops from the overhead bin, fortunately intercepted!!
• my window seat mate starts coughing

• well! well! it looks like the middle seat will be empty!
• the baby lets out intermittent yells
• my window seat mate lets out intermittent coughs
• the vocal bunch settles down and quietens up
• the captain asks us all to get ready for take-off
• i hop up to retrieve my mask from the overhead bin (success!)

• the flight is nice and uneventful
• i am one row from the loo: best location ever!
• i watch food porn on the screen 
• baby is silent until the descent. very thankful. good baby
• seat mate mercifully snores instead of coughs
• we land and i get to test my chinese on google translate

aside: they should stop filming people actually eating food. most explicit and unattractive.

the academy - hilderbrand & cunningham (2025)

this is like mallory towers* made american and current, complete with a mam'selle equivalent and her french exclamations.

likable characters just a little larger than life

more tame than what i think american teens are like

enough tension but not so much i abandon the book

i enjoy this very much!

unfortunately i finish it before i realize the sequel is not out yet (aaaargh) and before my waiting list book** gets available. 

*the enid blyton classic that starts me onto school series

**my father's brain by sandeep jauhar

at the hawker center

some thoughts assail me today as i buy my breakfast:

• i need to stop describing my weekend look as the tau hway-auntie-at-the-market look. she is better groomed and dressed than my weekend self
• she looks super unfriendly. surely she cannot be; she doesn't know me and it is the start of day so it must be RBF
• better check my own default RBF, alter ego an' all

the seven rules of trust - jimmy wales (2025)

the style is rah-rah and upbeat.

you don't really sense that he is talking to you as a person or you as a corporation. he has plenty to say to both and it gets conflated.

but as a history of wikipedia and an explication of its inner workings it is inspiring convincing and now i want to be a wikipedia editor too.

assume good faith in dealing with disagreements. possibly the most practically functional piece of advice i've been given in a long while.

kissing frogs

• ethical chic - fran hawthorne (2012)  limited premise: are these cool companies as ethical as they are perceived to be? trouble is nobody really is and we don't need a book to conclude this. interesting background info about my favorite grocer trader joe's who remains my favorite grocer despite appearing in the book
• careless people - sarah wynn-williams (2025) 1-and-a-half chapters in and she is still brightly idealistically conversationally positive without getting to the stated idea of her book so i give up
• having people over - chelsea fagan (2025) too much chat and too little substance so i also give up
• the seven rules of trust - jimmy wales (2025) most promising of the lot although the book is not so much about trust (he tries though) but about the story of wikipedia which really is quite a heartening story about the better side of humans

all because i am on the waiting list for my father's brain (sandeep jauhar) and the app says i am first in line so i don't dare start a heavy book right now.

bringing up baby

J2 finds this in the library. A and E will grow up subverted.

the smartest guys in the room - mclean & elkind (2004)

page-turning drama until you get a bit tired of the unending hubris and chicanery and you start to think really? can anyone be so greedy? and you just want the saga to end so the bad guys can to go to jail.

what i say is, they must have plowed thru a mountain of ghastly stuff to get so much organized into a fairly coherent account of a book.

what i also say is, the lawyers had their work cut out for them.

good morning!

the morning after a satisfying storm is rather lovely indeed.

mugginess break

E the dog has been fed watered peed and pooped 

and everyone at home is home 

bring on the storm! yeah!

nice rolls of thunder rumbling away

i am hopeful of a cool evening and night

ode to the shoppe

i feel like

going shopping

i think of

the sun

the bus

the crowds

and

lunch

i go to

shoppee

my grab driver today

he drives

with arms extended

and intermittent body jerks

and intermittent car jerks

and he wants to

chit chat

my goodbye!

is heartfelt

indeed

morning walk

i meet a rooster

gorgeous fellow

strut strut strut

and you have

otters and monkeys

next to high rise apartments 

talk about 

being close to nature

not quite

thinking hard that 

an affogato 

would be lovely 

so 

this 

is 

a 

poor second

the weather is muggy hot and it is only april. what will june be like??

evening walk

i meet a lizard on the wall.

it is undeniably grotesquely beautiful even as my goosebumps are popping up like they are on steroids.

doctored - sandeep jauhar (2014)

narrative of a physician's burnout and his journey out of it set in the background of moral ambiguity and avarice that is american medicine. he writes in a flowingly readable prose and the conversations are almost painfully authentic.

i guess we all go through a burnout of sorts in our middle ages. just as i guess most of us come out the other end bruised chastened and (if we are fortunate) re-couraged.

it's finally next monday

having finally come to the end of the mega-workweek i find myself loose and fancy free today (kinda).

what a lovely feeling.

it is a day for affogato.

making the switch

avant

après!

we bite the wallet and ditch the generational colorfest for minimalist glass containers.

fish curry

we make this for dinner with my friend's spices and J2's recipe. wimp that i am, this is my first foray into exotic asian cuisine. HOM is all excited. if you learn to make palak paneer and bread next, we can have people over for an indian dinner! he says excitedly. a little later he adds, tandoori chicken too!

i blame J2 for cooking all the above and making HOM think J2's mom can do it too.

made in america - bill bryson (1994)

a loose history of american english recounted in parallel with american history. fascinatingly delightful with punches of wit that ambush you.

unfortunately i have no way to tell how much of the stuff is accurate and how much is preferred theory. the gutta percha golf ball, for instance, is said to derive from malay for a piece of rag. respectfully not, i think.

also, i wish he would have covered more of the non-european non-indigenous provenance of the dialect.

slip of habit (and good sense)

DO NOT drink a cup of americano after you have affogato.

the combination is potently palpitatious.

HOM, on the other hand, is perfectly fine on account of his having two scoops of gelato instead of affogato and now his americano only serves as a deconstructed affogato of sorts.

hot weather escape

wuz affogato. iz cof. cof cof.

the days to come

friday: we arrive home. cough headaches chills

saturday: cough headaches chills

today: cough

monday: work

tuesday: work

wednesday: work

thursday: work

friday: work

saturday: work

sunday: play piano for church service

next monday: collapse

note to self: when going on extended time off, do not agree to take on too many additional tasks on return, purely out of guilt.

thoughts on easter

how glad i am that 

i need not seek. i have been sought. i am found

i need not do penance. he has suffered. i am bought

because

if i needed to seek and suffer

i may not even not seek 

or suffer enough pain

how glad i am!

sunset

is muggy. but sure is luvverly.

almost like fall

the leaves are doing an autumnal act. 

homeee

• it's muggggggy
• the king is materially wider than the queen. but i appreciate J2's 400 count sheets
• my beloved shower, yeah! in order of preference: J1/Yi's old apartment shower, ours, and Ji/J2's
• eating like a local again even with the vicious URI. i have missed you so much, soups!
• missing the little imp who comes up mumbling gonggong popo 
• and missing the children. HOM and i look at each other and say, we did good, by God's grace

in other news, i am trying to get my head around this plastics business and wondering if we ought to switch to glass containers. that would upend years of conditioning and practice. remember the tupperware parties?

the old car is in the workshop again. it is shaping up to be our de facto garage.

good friday

too sick to show up at church today. this must be the first good friday i skip church in all the years since knowing the spirit freedom of salvation. 

yet grateful.

final drive

our road trip back to the big city airport, punctuated by pit stops. it is a mercifully pleasant drive, unfortunately accompanied by my increasing cough and fever.

all in all, a memorable journey home. the last bit on the 'plane being distressingly memorable. 

best mem'ries

• being rammed by little A as she repeatedly runs full force into me
• having her come up and say popo, picture! like the diva she is shaping up to be
• when she deigns to pee in the potty (it's a wonderful feeling)
• carrying little E and having her try hard to focus on my face
• realizing that at 5 weeks, E likes to look outward at the world!
• humbly rejoicing in J2 being a good mom; certainly better than i was
• having J1 and Yi come up to join us these last few days
• and accepting that our children have grown well and found good partners!

it's been a good break, HOM and i tell each other. but it is time to go home.

thoughts on potty training

• it is the supreme act of faith of early-years parenting as the entire family sets off into uncharted pools of bodily excretions
• there is a constant tussle between the need to move the child to diaper-independence and backsliding into the adult's diaper dependence 
• hence it requires patience persistence perseverance and pure grit in its most unvarnished and committed form
• the modern child is quickly exposed to an array of incentives including potty-themed books dates raisins and other snacks 
• adults are to be prepared for prolonged disappointment and occasional yelps of delight

in a guarded and cautious sense, HOM and i are fortunate to be part of this phase of little A's life.

final week

here we are HOM and i, fast coming to the end of the month we spend with Ji J2 A and E. as well as S and A the cats.

with gratitude at seeing a teeny weeny wizened babe guzzle her way to decent weight gain. with delight at being around a toddler, a blank canvas to teach to coach to protect and to show to.

with relief at coming to the end of keeping a household intact alive and functioning. (how will the young people keep themselves intact alive and functioning after we go?)

with regret that we cannot gift them more of our time. with gladness and joy at this season we are gifted with.