last dinner before home

HOM finds this spot, resourceful fellow that he is. the name 情深翅海 does not even appear on english language searches. 

the buddha here is to die for. 

i tell HOM he needs to remember the next time we are in the 'hood and i say i want to go to that buddha place.

ravaged

HOM and i go up to the hotel reception and ask if our parcel has been delivered. the young man turns to his colleague and says, can you help these two old people with their request?

we look at each other in shock, my beloved and i. our hair may be gray, young man, and our faces may be lined but we'll have you know we still feel like spring chickens inside!

1st road city park

we chance upon old fogies singin' and dancin' and upon youngsters livestreamin' in their cosplay finery. you would be forgiven for thinking this was a spot in some rabid capitalist society! except of course it is all very neat and clean and the public order is well preserved.

old friend

the usual drink of choice. although we have discovered cotti coffee as well.

massage chair

for a fraction of the sum HOM pays the human, i get pummeled cudgeled and pretty much bludgeoned over twenty minutes to a jelly-like consistency.

this is near-orgasmic, i tell HOM.

life in the fast lane (again)

today we try the dim sum place again at a much earlier hour. there are only 39 tables ahead of us this time!

brunch is delicious. alas, the glucose spike is fearsome.

here are the latte lava buns! scrumptious.

sunday

we slip into the cantonese language service. they sing all hail the power of jesus' name. and the gloria patri. the liturgy is familiar yet unfamiliar. the preaching is borderline anodyne but mainstream enough. we end with the apostles' creed and the lord's prayer.

it is particularly memorable because my pew-mate whispers to me that trousers are more comfortable in this weather than my dress. it leaves me wondering if this is a veiled hint that i ought not show my legs in church but HOM says she is just trying to be friendly. nevertheless i switch seats with HOM after that so as to put him between me and her.

life in the fast lane 2

we try to get a table at the dim sum place, HOM and i. the girl at the counter gives us our queue ticket. it says there are 104 tables waiting ahead of us.

we have lunch at the fish place.

1200 bookshop

the modern bookshop sells souvenirs t-shirts coffee and food. there are kitschy coasters featuring movies-from-the-year-you-were-born and kitschy notebooks featuring quotes by authors-born-on-your-birthday. 

yet the modern chinese reader is a far more eclectically widely-read animal than the average western-trained reader. perhaps because of the perceived restriction of chinese-ness their books are translated from all manner of languages and cover diverse topics. whereas our bookstores prominently feature rom-coms and self-help books in english and we are hard pressed to locate the translated stuff.

tea break

the makeshift stall just outside the hotel side door supplies ice cream at a buy-one-get-one deal.

best location ever.

life in the fast lane

may day on the pedestrian street in guangzhou is equivalent to shibuya. the crowds the tobacco smoke the crowds the cosplay and the crowds. on the other hand we start early enough that the morning is pleasantly festive and it only becomes a sardine can when we are ready for a nap.

a wedding in the country - katie ffordes (2021)

anodyne and saccharine.

happy ending.

anodyne and saccharine.

despite previous good experience with katie ffordes.

anatomy of a airplane flight

things happen on my solo flight to guangzhou:

• i flop gratefully into my aisle seat (yeah!)
• i stand up to allow my window seat mate in
• a bunch of travelers show their excitement at air travel most vocally
• my seat back is wrenched by a fellow passenger on the way to her own seat
• a random baby starts a yodel. it starts low and reaches high
• somebody's suitcase drops from the overhead bin, fortunately intercepted!!
• my window seat mate starts coughing

• well! well! it looks like the middle seat will be empty!
• the baby lets out intermittent yells
• my window seat mate lets out intermittent coughs
• the vocal bunch settles down and quietens up
• the captain asks us all to get ready for take-off
• i hop up to retrieve my mask from the overhead bin (success!)

• the flight is nice and uneventful
• i am one row from the loo: best location ever!
• i watch food porn on the screen 
• baby is silent until the descent. very thankful. good baby
• seat mate mercifully snores instead of coughs
• we land and i get to test my chinese on google translate

aside: they should stop filming people actually eating food. most explicit and unattractive.

the academy - hilderbrand & cunningham (2025)

this is like mallory towers* made american and current, complete with a mam'selle equivalent and her french exclamations.

likable characters just a little larger than life

more tame than what i think american teens are like

enough tension but not so much i abandon the book

i enjoy this very much!

unfortunately i finish it before i realize the sequel is not out yet (aaaargh) and before my waiting list book** gets available. 

*the enid blyton classic that starts me onto school series

**my father's brain by sandeep jauhar

at the hawker center

some thoughts assail me today as i buy my breakfast:

• i need to stop describing my weekend look as the tau hway-auntie-at-the-market look. she is better groomed and dressed than my weekend self
• she looks super unfriendly. surely she cannot be; she doesn't know me and it is the start of day so it must be RBF
• better check my own default RBF, alter ego an' all

the seven rules of trust - jimmy wales (2025)

the style is rah-rah and upbeat.

you don't really sense that he is talking to you as a person or you as a corporation. he has plenty to say to both and it gets conflated.

but as a history of wikipedia and an explication of its inner workings it is inspiring convincing and now i want to be a wikipedia editor too.

assume good faith in dealing with disagreements. possibly the most practically functional piece of advice i've been given in a long while.

kissing frogs

• ethical chic - fran hawthorne (2012)  limited premise: are these cool companies as ethical as they are perceived to be? trouble is nobody really is and we don't need a book to conclude this. interesting background info about my favorite grocer trader joe's who remains my favorite grocer despite appearing in the book
• careless people - sarah wynn-williams (2025) 1-and-a-half chapters in and she is still brightly idealistically conversationally positive without getting to the stated idea of her book so i give up
• having people over - chelsea fagan (2025) too much chat and too little substance so i also give up
• the seven rules of trust - jimmy wales (2025) most promising of the lot although the book is not so much about trust (he tries though) but about the story of wikipedia which really is quite a heartening story about the better side of humans

all because i am on the waiting list for my father's brain (sandeep jauhar) and the app says i am first in line so i don't dare start a heavy book right now.

bringing up baby

J2 finds this in the library. A and E will grow up subverted.

the smartest guys in the room - mclean & elkind (2004)

page-turning drama until you get a bit tired of the unending hubris and chicanery and you start to think really? can anyone be so greedy? and you just want the saga to end so the bad guys can to go to jail.

what i say is, they must have plowed thru a mountain of ghastly stuff to get so much organized into a fairly coherent account of a book.

what i also say is, the lawyers had their work cut out for them.

good morning!

the morning after a satisfying storm is rather lovely indeed.

mugginess break

E the dog has been fed watered peed and pooped 

and everyone at home is home 

bring on the storm! yeah!

nice rolls of thunder rumbling away

i am hopeful of a cool evening and night

ode to the shoppe

i feel like

going shopping

i think of

the sun

the bus

the crowds

and

lunch

i go to

shoppee

my grab driver today

he drives

with arms extended

and intermittent body jerks

and intermittent car jerks

and he wants to

chit chat

my goodbye!

is heartfelt

indeed

morning walk

i meet a rooster

gorgeous fellow

strut strut strut

and you have

otters and monkeys

next to high rise apartments 

talk about 

being close to nature

not quite

thinking hard that 

an affogato 

would be lovely 

so 

this 

is 

a 

poor second

the weather is muggy hot and it is only april. what will june be like??

evening walk

i meet a lizard on the wall.

it is undeniably grotesquely beautiful even as my goosebumps are popping up like they are on steroids.

doctored - sandeep jauhar (2014)

narrative of a physician's burnout and his journey out of it set in the background of moral ambiguity and avarice that is american medicine. he writes in a flowingly readable prose and the conversations are almost painfully authentic.

i guess we all go through a burnout of sorts in our middle ages. just as i guess most of us come out the other end bruised chastened and (if we are fortunate) re-couraged.

it's finally next monday

having finally come to the end of the mega-workweek i find myself loose and fancy free today (kinda).

what a lovely feeling.

it is a day for affogato.

making the switch

avant

après!

we bite the wallet and ditch the generational colorfest for minimalist glass containers.

fish curry

we make this for dinner with my friend's spices and J2's recipe. wimp that i am, this is my first foray into exotic asian cuisine. HOM is all excited. if you learn to make palak paneer and bread next, we can have people over for an indian dinner! he says excitedly. a little later he adds, tandoori chicken too!

i blame J2 for cooking all the above and making HOM think J2's mom can do it too.

made in america - bill bryson (1994)

a loose history of american english recounted in parallel with american history. fascinatingly delightful with punches of wit that ambush you.

unfortunately i have no way to tell how much of the stuff is accurate and how much is preferred theory. the gutta percha golf ball, for instance, is said to derive from malay for a piece of rag. respectfully not, i think.

also, i wish he would have covered more of the non-european non-indigenous provenance of the dialect.

slip of habit (and good sense)

DO NOT drink a cup of americano after you have affogato.

the combination is potently palpitatious.

HOM, on the other hand, is perfectly fine on account of his having two scoops of gelato instead of affogato and now his americano only serves as a deconstructed affogato of sorts.

hot weather escape

wuz affogato. iz cof. cof cof.

the days to come

friday: we arrive home. cough headaches chills

saturday: cough headaches chills

today: cough

monday: work

tuesday: work

wednesday: work

thursday: work

friday: work

saturday: work

sunday: play piano for church service

next monday: collapse

note to self: when going on extended time off, do not agree to take on too many additional tasks on return, purely out of guilt.

thoughts on easter

how glad i am that 

i need not seek. i have been sought. i am found

i need not do penance. he has suffered. i am bought

because

if i needed to seek and suffer

i may not even not seek 

or suffer enough pain

how glad i am!

sunset

is muggy. but sure is luvverly.

almost like fall

the leaves are doing an autumnal act. 

homeee

• it's muggggggy
• the king is materially wider than the queen. but i appreciate J2's 400 count sheets
• my beloved shower, yeah! in order of preference: J1/Yi's old apartment shower, ours, and Ji/J2's
• eating like a local again even with the vicious URI. i have missed you so much, soups!
• missing the little imp who comes up mumbling gonggong popo 
• and missing the children. HOM and i look at each other and say, we did good, by God's grace

in other news, i am trying to get my head around this plastics business and wondering if we ought to switch to glass containers. that would upend years of conditioning and practice. remember the tupperware parties?

the old car is in the workshop again. it is shaping up to be our de facto garage.

good friday

too sick to show up at church today. this must be the first good friday i skip church in all the years since knowing the spirit freedom of salvation. 

yet grateful.

final drive

our road trip back to the big city airport, punctuated by pit stops. it is a mercifully pleasant drive, unfortunately accompanied by my increasing cough and fever.

all in all, a memorable journey home. the last bit on the 'plane being distressingly memorable. 

best mem'ries

• being rammed by little A as she repeatedly runs full force into me
• having her come up and say popo, picture! like the diva she is shaping up to be
• when she deigns to pee in the potty (it's a wonderful feeling)
• carrying little E and having her try hard to focus on my face
• realizing that at 5 weeks, E likes to look outward at the world!
• humbly rejoicing in J2 being a good mom; certainly better than i was
• having J1 and Yi come up to join us these last few days
• and accepting that our children have grown well and found good partners!

it's been a good break, HOM and i tell each other. but it is time to go home.

thoughts on potty training

• it is the supreme act of faith of early-years parenting as the entire family sets off into uncharted pools of bodily excretions
• there is a constant tussle between the need to move the child to diaper-independence and backsliding into the adult's diaper dependence 
• hence it requires patience persistence perseverance and pure grit in its most unvarnished and committed form
• the modern child is quickly exposed to an array of incentives including potty-themed books dates raisins and other snacks 
• adults are to be prepared for prolonged disappointment and occasional yelps of delight

in a guarded and cautious sense, HOM and i are fortunate to be part of this phase of little A's life.

final week

here we are HOM and i, fast coming to the end of the month we spend with Ji J2 A and E. as well as S and A the cats.

with gratitude at seeing a teeny weeny wizened babe guzzle her way to decent weight gain. with delight at being around a toddler, a blank canvas to teach to coach to protect and to show to.

with relief at coming to the end of keeping a household intact alive and functioning. (how will the young people keep themselves intact alive and functioning after we go?)

with regret that we cannot gift them more of our time. with gladness and joy at this season we are gifted with.

IGU list

as in, books i give up reading part way through:

• killer in a white coat - charlotte bismuth (2024): she has a truly irritating strategy of switching between the past the past the present the past the present the recent past and 2000 days ago. plus i really do not want to know about how her marriage disintegrates. just tell me about the killer!
• nora roberts et al: a series of novellas: i guess mark greenside's freshly crisp prose has spoilt me for the other more maudlin version
• james patterson: entirely too gritty for now

i'll never be french - mark greenside (2008)

laugh-out-loud wit coupled with sharp cross cultural observations written with obvious affection and a self-deprecation i am pleasantly surprised to encounter in un américain. very bill bryson.

i am also surprised to discover his progressive background because this book is a love letter to ordered conservative status quo.

charmant. i am now looking for his other books.

reasons to visit costco

J2's: she is running out of hand soap toilet paper chicken and broccoli

HOM's: he wants to get his beloved cashews and pistachios

me: i want the haagen dazs ice cream bars on sale at $8.99 a box of 20 (yasss)

A: she wants the grub samples

E: she is helpless and simply follows the milk

a visit to the doctor's

little A has a pediatrician's appointment so HOM and i tag along (to be accurate we tag along because J2 promises us a trip to costco after the doctor's).

i am agog at the friendly vibe. cutesy prints on the wall pretty prints on the chairs all manner of print for reading and the notices printed in blacktear script. my first time at a pediatrician's, i whisper to HOM.

did our children not go to the pediatrician? HOM asks me. nah, i confess. 

back in the day, only very ill kids see the pediatrician. the others see the maternal and child health services people. the name alone tells you there are no frills there.

operation deep clean

the food detritus is awe-inspiring, but not in a good awesome way. and it's not rocket science, HOM and i tell each other. hence ensue jittery moments of uncertainty about the reversibility of it all, preferably before J2 comes downstairs or Ji returns from work or A awakens from her nap.

avant

et voila! après!

dinner place review

as dated a california diner as you can imagine

as un-japanese as music can get

with varsity sports playing on the wall TV

and sashimi to gladden our souls. oishi

gratitude

driving back from dinner it occurs to me how fortunate i am. to partake of sunrises and sunsets in the most gorgeous locations on a regular basis to know the four seasons in relative comfort and to have lived so easily in so many different homes.

agatha raisin - m.c. beaton (1992- )

a new series discovered, thanks to J2's recommendation.

she is alternately a snazzy career woman with deep pockets and a doozy kitschy klutz swooning over eligible males. there is that chubby oriental policeman foil to her character who appears to be wise beyond his years.

the murders are real enough the action is bloody enough and all is set in the charmingly retro cotswolds. fortunately there are 31 books. i shall ration them over time.

in return, i introduce J2 to hamish macbeth.

fancy that!

i meet a dog in church today.

or, a dog comes to church today.

or, dogs are ultra-included in church.

the thing about being a visitor, i tell HOM, is i can just look on in bemused wonder. nothing has to make sense to me. to his credit the dog does not bark during the service.

to little A, on the eve of your birthday

my special princess, who introduces me to the ineffable fascinations of being a grandmother! to whom i need be nothing more than present, nothing better than i am, bringing nothing more than what i have!

i wonder at your curious mind and your eagle eye. i am astonished at your unbelievable grasp of things i mention just once. i laugh with you at your sense of humor. how does a 2-year-old kiddo know to tease her grandfather just so? i am in awe of your determination in the park. when i follow you up the step-ladder i get a minor attack of altitude sickness. i love your generosity when you share the cashews with me your mom and even little E. i cringe when you grease the table and the chair feed your hair and the floor and smear your cheeks but miss the mouth. i worry when you notice that E is getting attention.

grow hard and grow well, A! be strong and able like your mom! be generous and open like your dad! be faithful and grounded, unafraid of life! may he who is able to do more than we ask for or imagine do all that, and more, in your life!

to little E, on the eve of your dedication

how much you have gone thru to get to this time, E! thru maternal stress and growth challenges to perinatal issues! and how much i have seen you grow to this time! you are like a little thriving magical elf, tiny self-assured and amazingly self-possessed-ly calm.

how glad i am to see you, E! you are planted in a garden of nurturing love filled with blooms of care and protectiveness and sheltering shade. you have a mother who is strong and able (and strong-willed!) and a dad who is all vigilant watchman (yet soft-hearted!) who loves your mother well enough to be a good father!

may God strengthen you in your inner (wo)man and form Christ in you and fill you with his fulness. may you know him richly, who is able to keep you from falling and present you on the last day before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy. may you live gladly and fully!

habit burger & grill

yummmmmmo. there's my first love in-n-out for the quotidian craving (Ji's words) and there's this char-grilled magic in sit-down grandeur for otherwise, protein-style without the pickles, thank you very much.

morning activity

we sit on the stoop, J2 A E and me, to watch the dump truck go by.

hiiii!!! says A to the truck driver.

i wonder how many kids he sees on his route, J2 says.

i simply wonder.

sapiens - yuval noah harari (2011)

the cognitive revolution. imagined realities.

objective subjective and inter-subjective constructs.

the global empire.

sweeping and fascinating. also deliberately provocative. 

all thumbs up.

on the incomprehensibility of A's diction

amongst the morass of gibberish that A continually sprouts are a few choice pearls of clear communication:

adult: A, can you do this please? 

A: NO (clear grammatical emphatic and prompt)

also,

A: hi!! (with full command of the diphthong so it comes out as haaiiiiii!!)

A: bye!! 

the rest is everyone's best guess, J2 not unexpectedly being the most accurate guesser.

date time 2

we plan a dinner out. Ji and J2 assiduously suggest fine dining places.

HOM and i make our way to a burger joint*. what's not to like? it's uncrowded. the burger is good. the fries are satisfying. the wine is (kinda) acceptable. the price is gentle on the wallet. then we schlepp home to an early supper and bed.

we have become a pair of doddering fogeys, HOM and i.

*eureka! fresno

notes on the u.s. of a.

fresh from a series of china visits, here are some thoughts:

• the air is much clearer for the relative absence of cigarette smoking pedestrians
• i never get ambushed by hocking and spitting folk. it's making me feel quite happily secure 
• it's a lot noisier on the roads thanks to gas and diesel. one misses the EVs
• but i don't get ambushed by silent mopeds either. here they have harley davidsons. no ambush. no sirree! we assault!
• pedestrian is king here. in a really quite quite satisfying way that would be laughed out of the room back in asia
• sticker shock is real. my poor heart. especially when you do some mental arithmetic to convert the currencies
• add to that the tipping culture. owww
• the roads are wider and the houses are prettier, in the white picket fence way to which i have been  acculturated 
• you smell bbq instead of five spices on your walks
• the people make eye contact and say how are you? but you know from experience it is just as impersonal as elsewhere

spring time!

we do a quick grocery run at walmart and notice that the tree at the carpark which was bald a week ago has put out fresh shoots.

i prefer autumn but the new life in spring remains amazing to behold.

date time

the girls go off on a playdate so HOM and i get a coffee date.

flat white and a read. murmur of adult conversation in the background with some free-floating indeterminate music. umm lovely.

one (month)

little E turns a month old.

she is a tiny bundle steadfastly gazing at the world.

she is an undersized delicate faerie.

a voracious feeding machine.

she is a little miracle each time i look at her.

HOM bakes her a special pandan-adzuki-santan cake.

which we partake of on her behalf.

yet not i

what gift of grace is Jesus, my redeemer

there is no more for heaven now to give

he is my joy, my righteousness and freedom

my steadfast love, my deep and boundless peace

grateful and glad yet amazed and bemused to sing this. to be able to sing this.

time-tested lure

from long ago when we first get to know macy's to today when the one day sale still makes us spend.

long day's end

today HOM and i play tour-the-playgrounds-in-the-neighborhood with little A.

we are bushed. 'nuff said.

no boundaries

here is a solar-battery-heated swimming pool for sale in costco. in addition to rather good wines at pretty decent prices that all-time-winner rotisserie chicken and food samples to gladden a hungry shopper's heart. not to mention jewelry prescription refills and books.

you have elon musk and co. and their ai shenanigans doing iconoclast acts but costco was there before them all.

step ball change - jeanne ray (2002)

i read this in refuge from this.

as hoped, it is sweet decent well-paced and leaves me with a warm fuzzy feeling for family and other awkward people.

also, it is remarkably easy to read and witty to boot.

spring sun

early morning walk in the nippy air and then emerging gladly from the shade into the warm embrace of sunshine even though back east we are trained from childhood to avoid the sun.

there are few more ineffable pleasures.

mediocre - ijeoma oluo (2020)

persuasive premise (it's on the cover).

strident tone. there's a chip on her shoulder.

pretty eloquent writing.

unfinishable. bah.

i am too old to read stuff that takes itself too seriously.