fish curry

we make this for dinner with my friend's spices and J2's recipe. wimp that i am, this is my first foray into exotic asian cuisine. HOM is all excited. if you learn to make palak paneer and bread next, we can have people over for an indian dinner! he says excitedly. a little later he adds, tandoori chicken too!

i blame J2 for cooking all the above and making HOM think J2's mom can do it too.

homeee

• it's muggggggy
• the king is materially wider than the queen. but i appreciate J2's 400 count sheets
• my beloved shower, yeah! in order of preference: J1/Yi's old apartment shower, ours, and Ji/J2's
• eating like a local again even with the vicious URI. i have missed you so much, soups!
• missing the little imp who comes up mumbling gonggong popo 
• and missing the children. HOM and i look at each other and say, we did good, by God's grace

in other news, i am trying to get my head around this plastics business and wondering if we ought to switch to glass containers. that would upend years of conditioning and practice. remember the tupperware parties?

the old car is in the workshop again. it is shaping up to be our de facto garage.

best mem'ries

• being rammed by little A as she repeatedly runs full force into me
• having her come up and say popo, picture! like the diva she is shaping up to be
• when she deigns to pee in the potty (it's a wonderful feeling)
• carrying little E and having her try hard to focus on my face
• realizing that at 5 weeks, E likes to look outward at the world!
• humbly rejoicing in J2 being a good mom; certainly better than i was
• having J1 and Yi come up to join us these last few days
• and accepting that our children have grown well and found good partners!

it's been a good break, HOM and i tell each other. but it is time to go home.

thoughts on potty training

• it is the supreme act of faith of early-years parenting as the entire family sets off into uncharted pools of bodily excretions
• there is a constant tussle between the need to move the child to diaper-independence and backsliding into the adult's diaper dependence 
• hence it requires patience persistence perseverance and pure grit in its most unvarnished and committed form
• the modern child is quickly exposed to an array of incentives including potty-themed books dates raisins and other snacks 
• adults are to be prepared for prolonged disappointment and occasional yelps of delight

in a guarded and cautious sense, HOM and i are fortunate to be part of this phase of little A's life.

final week

here we are HOM and i, fast coming to the end of the month we spend with Ji J2 A and E. as well as S and A the cats.

with gratitude at seeing a teeny weeny wizened babe guzzle her way to decent weight gain. with delight at being around a toddler, a blank canvas to teach to coach to protect and to show to.

with relief at coming to the end of keeping a household intact alive and functioning. (how will the young people keep themselves intact alive and functioning after we go?)

with regret that we cannot gift them more of our time. with gladness and joy at this season we are gifted with.

reasons to visit costco

J2's: she is running out of hand soap toilet paper chicken and broccoli

HOM's: he wants to get his beloved cashews and pistachios

me: i want the haagen dazs ice cream bars on sale at $8.99 a box of 20 (yasss)

A: she wants the grub samples

E: she is helpless and simply follows the milk

a visit to the doctor's

little A has a pediatrician's appointment so HOM and i tag along (to be accurate we tag along because J2 promises us a trip to costco after the doctor's).

i am agog at the friendly vibe. cutesy prints on the wall pretty prints on the chairs all manner of print for reading and the notices printed in blacktear script. my first time at a pediatrician's, i whisper to HOM.

did our children not go to the pediatrician? HOM asks me. nah, i confess. 

back in the day, only very ill kids see the pediatrician. the others see the maternal and child health services people. the name alone tells you there are no frills there.

operation deep clean

the food detritus is awe-inspiring, but not in a good awesome way. and it's not rocket science, HOM and i tell each other. hence ensue jittery moments of uncertainty about the reversibility of it all, preferably before J2 comes downstairs or Ji returns from work or A awakens from her nap.

avant

et voila! après!

agatha raisin - m.c. beaton (1992- )

a new series discovered, thanks to J2's recommendation.

she is alternately a snazzy career woman with deep pockets and a doozy kitschy klutz swooning over eligible males. there is that chubby oriental policeman foil to her character who appears to be wise beyond his years.

the murders are real enough the action is bloody enough and all is set in the charmingly retro cotswolds. fortunately there are 31 books. i shall ration them over time.

in return, i introduce J2 to hamish macbeth.

to little A, on the eve of your birthday

my special princess, who introduces me to the ineffable fascinations of being a grandmother! to whom i need be nothing more than present, nothing better than i am, bringing nothing more than what i have!

i wonder at your curious mind and your eagle eye. i am astonished at your unbelievable grasp of things i mention just once. i laugh with you at your sense of humor. how does a 2-year-old kiddo know to tease her grandfather just so? i am in awe of your determination in the park. when i follow you up the step-ladder i get a minor attack of altitude sickness. i love your generosity when you share the cashews with me your mom and even little E. i cringe when you grease the table and the chair feed your hair and the floor and smear your cheeks but miss the mouth. i worry when you notice that E is getting attention.

grow hard and grow well, A! be strong and able like your mom! be generous and open like your dad! be faithful and grounded, unafraid of life! may he who is able to do more than we ask for or imagine do all that, and more, in your life!

to little E, on the eve of your dedication

how much you have gone thru to get to this time, E! thru maternal stress and growth challenges to perinatal issues! and how much i have seen you grow to this time! you are like a little thriving magical elf, tiny self-assured and amazingly self-possessed-ly calm.

how glad i am to see you, E! you are planted in a garden of nurturing love filled with blooms of care and protectiveness and sheltering shade. you have a mother who is strong and able (and strong-willed!) and a dad who is all vigilant watchman (yet soft-hearted!) who loves your mother well enough to be a good father!

may God strengthen you in your inner (wo)man and form Christ in you and fill you with his fulness. may you know him richly, who is able to keep you from falling and present you on the last day before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy. may you live gladly and fully!

habit burger & grill

yummmmmmo. there's my first love in-n-out for the quotidian craving (Ji's words) and there's this char-grilled magic in sit-down grandeur for otherwise, protein-style without the pickles, thank you very much.

morning activity

we sit on the stoop, J2 A E and me, to watch the dump truck go by.

hiiii!!! says A to the truck driver.

i wonder how many kids he sees on his route, J2 says.

i simply wonder.

on the incomprehensibility of A's diction

amongst the morass of gibberish that A continually sprouts are a few choice pearls of clear communication:

adult: A, can you do this please? 

A: NO (clear grammatical emphatic and prompt)

also,

A: hi!! (with full command of the diphthong so it comes out as haaiiiiii!!)

A: bye!! 

the rest is everyone's best guess, J2 not unexpectedly being the most accurate guesser.

date time

the girls go off on a playdate so HOM and i get a coffee date.

flat white and a read. murmur of adult conversation in the background with some free-floating indeterminate music. umm lovely.

one (month)

little E turns a month old.

she is a tiny bundle steadfastly gazing at the world.

she is an undersized delicate faerie.

a voracious feeding machine.

she is a little miracle each time i look at her.

HOM bakes her a special pandan-adzuki-santan cake.

which we partake of on her behalf.

long day's end

today HOM and i play tour-the-playgrounds-in-the-neighborhood with little A.

we are bushed. 'nuff said.

endless cycle

this is A's day, running on repeat:

• reading (not)
• playdoh
• playground
• lego
• sketch-a-doodle
• mop the floor

accompanied by a running commentary in gibberish punctuated by tantrums.

mini miracle

watching a child feed herself, it occurs to me that the fact that the food lands in the mouth and not on the floor is a feat that defies the laws of physics.

grandparenting

we get to return the baby when she is soiled upset hungry or unhappy

we have to learn a whole new toddler language

she gets new targets to twist around her little finger

we are assigned new roles in life

pretty awesome privilege