things i remember about my father (13.11.1937-24.2.2022)

he was faithful in the quiet everyday things like being there when he said he would be and telling the truth even if it was difficult and diligently preparing for his classes and work and presentations. he was faithful in seeking excellence.

he loved languages - mandarin chinese and hokkien and english and malay and japanese and was it bangladeshi that he learnt from the security guards at his condo? he loved the spoken word with its unending melodies and he loved the written word in its rich intricacies.

he was a kind and generous man who shared freely considerably consistently and quietly out of his supplies. he declined promotions in order to keep his friendships. he was contented with his lot and he rejoiced in it.

he loved his wife my mother with gentle understanding and unwavering regard. my parents' love gives me hope that it is possible to grow old and infirm and helpless and yet love. it is possible that affection is redeemed into charity without losing itself.

i have a father a girl can be so proud of. i am glad we will meet again.

to the lady on the bus

dear middle-aged lady on the bus who was sitting on one of a pair of seats when HOM and i boarded and saw that all the other seat pairs were occupied by at least one passenger each and  who stood up to move to another single seat whilst gesturing to us to take her vacated pair of seats, THANK YOU! it was an unsolicited unexpected and very heart-warming little act of sheer kindness that gives me an idea of how i can do the same for others next time.

a history of the present illness - louise aronson (2013)

vignettes in the most versatile use of the term.

compelling tales of everyday events patients challenges and stuff that every physician can relate to starring a diverse array of players that is as far removed from male white 'murrica as you wish and linked together tenuously and unexpectedly by the most tangential neighborly connections.

the delightful sub-plot of an entire smorgasbord of writing styles is the cream on the icing on the cake. 

maybe you should talk to someone - lori gottlieb (2019)

fascinating and compelling and eye-opening and gorgeous.

read this to get a digestibly sweeping overview of what psychotherapy is entails encompasses utilizes and is underpinned by. that's the fascinating part.

read this to follow five story threads as they weave their differently complicated patterns to satisfyingly rich cadences, mixed metaphors be damned. and as Gottlieb explores themes as a practitioner that practitioners do not often mention in public. what do you do when you are just so irritated by the patient? are you ever attracted to a patient? what happens after you google your patient? that's the compelling bit.

read this for eye-opening pearls:

• between stimulus and response there is a space. in that space is our power to choose our response... as she quotes Frankl 
• being liked, and loved, for my neshama, which is my spirit or my soul 
• what not to do say to a dying person: be strong, you can beat this! have you asked for a second opinion? what to say: i'm so sorry 
• there is no hierarchy to pain. suffering is not a competition

this is absolutely gorgeous.

3 books to begin the year with (sort of)

leaders eat last - the soloist - gratitude

in chronological order of consumption and in increasing degree of enjoyment. gratitude is Oliver Sacks' swan song, and an ode to the value of living richly and busily. ...my predominant feeling is one of gratitude. i have loved and been loved; i have been given much and i have given something in return;... i have had an intercourse with the world... if i live to be eighty-two, i would like that to be my predominant feeling too.

new syndrome

vGBS, vocabular Guillain-Barré Syndrome

a syndrome characterized by progressive cognitive paralysis with each incorrect guess on wordle, culminating in complete shut-down and a choking sensation at line 6.

in contrast to GBS, which is a rare condition, vGBS is relatively common.

2022

 crept up and sneaked in, that's what the year has done. the year-to-date tally:

• circulars and circulars. delta omicron and now BA.2. isolation deisolation non-isolation. protocols 1-2-2PC-3. PPM MMP SSM SSS. i hope one day i will look back and it will still make a modicum of sense
• cybersecurity and internet separation. very good for governance and rather non-intuitive and punitive to the rest of us who now have to read our excel tables on a cellphone. halp
• wordle! the box of yellow-and-green squares that binds work-mates family old friends and more. may the day come when i hit the green bar on my first line!
• and gently easing back to going to church on sundays. to clarify, i mean the actual building, as opposed to the couch. which means getting dressed and leaving the home and venturing to travel to-and-fro. no longer the brainless task it was